It has been a really long time since I posted on SI.
So... I just met a woman who is amazing and I am smitten, but I am wondering if it is happening too quick.
I was divorced about 2 years ago. Since then I did the OLD thing for awhile. Unlike some of the stories I read here (Some funny, some not) all of my dates were pretty good. In fact, I did date 2 woman for an extended period of time, but could not bring myself to take the next step into intimacy. So.. in September I decided to take a break from all of the dating scene. I did not think I was ever going to feel like I wanted to share my life, time or heart with anyone. Also, isn't wasn't fair to the women I dated and who wanted more out of the relationship than just conversation, dinner, movies or dancing.
Come November, I realized that I was turning into a hermit and finding I liked it too much... Ratty T-shirts and pajama pants are fine once in a while but should not become common wear all weekend long. I knew I needed to get out and be more social so I joined a social network. This was great! I felt like I had my cake and could eat it too. Go out in a group and have fun without any expectations or commitments.
Two weeks ago I was at one of these social functions and I see this one new women. Mind you, there were many other women at these functions and many had shown interest in me in the past. With this woman it was different... I had an instant connection. Surprising because other than a few words, we did not really interact much during the event. Weird... I had never had an instant connection in the past; even with my XW. I may have liked someone, but never felt drawn to them as I was immediately drawn to her.
A couple of days later I sent her an e-mail saying it was nice to meet her and I would welcome an opportunity to have dinner and talk. To my pleasant surprise, she accepted. Last Saturday we met for dinner and had a great time. Lots of talking and laughter. We ended up closing the place down. What is more surprising I asked to see her the very next day and she accepted. I never do that! I am shy and reserved and usually wait a week or so before seeing someone again.
Next day, another incredible time even with seeing a movie that was not really appropriate for a second date. I was really embarrassed, but we both laughed about it. Since then I have talked with her numerous times and have texted back and forth multiple times during the days. We have plans to get together tonight.
So here are the challenges and my concerns:
- I think I am falling way too fast for her.
- I have been freewheeling with the complements and I am afraid I will push/overwhelm her away by being seen as needy. I am not a needy person, but she has awoken in me something that I thought was dead. Right now she seems to enjoy it.
- She is planning to move in the near future. It is very likely it will be out of state. If so, a LTR would be extremely difficult. Again I feel like I am falling for her and her leaving would be very painful
- We share some of the same relationship backgrounds. Both had NPD cheating spouses. I fear that while we both may have moved on from that, there is still scar tissue left behind that could cause issues in any relationship that develops.
She is an amazing women. She is attractive both inside and outside. Elegant, but sexy at the same time. Super smart (Smart is Sexy!!!) and extremely talented. I doubt I will meet anyone like her again. All of this has me kind of messed up. My head is saying that this could be bad, but my heart is saying pedal to the metal.
All indications from her is that she really likes me too. But, I think she may be feeling the same way I do.
Sorry for the long post... I am not sure if I need advice or just a place to vent my thoughts and emotions. If you do have any advice, please respond :-)
2 Wonderful Sons: 32 & 21
Married 20 years
Divorce Final: 08/12 Enjoying Life!
"I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Rather Enjoy It". Serge A Storms