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lonely2009 posted 1/31/2014 08:53 AM

I wasn't going to post because anyone who know me IRL will now know that I am here. But, I need to hear from others who have experienced the same thing.

My beautiful 24YO son died unexpectedly in his sleep. His wife of one year, was due to give birth just four days after his death.

He died two days before Christmas , his autopsy was on Christmas and he was buried two days later. CHristmas season will never be the same.

My first and only grandchild was born early January.

I am still processing his death and have no interest in seeing grandchild just yet. Most don't understand this. Keep saying GC is a blessing.No, having my son is a blessing. Plus, my GC lives 1500 miles away and my DIL and I were never close and it is very awkward.

Found a box with all of my previous Mother's Day cards, BD cards, etc. Can barely breathe.

How do my DH and I process.

MovingUpward posted 1/31/2014 08:54 AM


My condolences on the loss of your son.

gahurts posted 1/31/2014 09:01 AM

I'm so sorry, lonely

Exit Wounds posted 1/31/2014 09:03 AM

I am SO sorry! You and your husband and your entire family are in my prayers. I have no advice, just want to tell you I am here if you need to talk. PM me if you want to talk...anytime.
I have no words...I am so sorry!

Williesmom posted 1/31/2014 09:04 AM

I am so sorry. ((lonely))

ISPIFFD posted 1/31/2014 09:06 AM

Ohhhhh, so many hugs for you!!!!!

simplydevastated posted 1/31/2014 09:06 AM

I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you strength and plenty of (((HUGS)))

ajsmom posted 1/31/2014 09:09 AM

There are no words for this pain.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.



little turtle posted 1/31/2014 09:15 AM


meaniemouse posted 1/31/2014 09:17 AM

There are no words that can convey how sorry I am for your tremendous and unexpected loss. I can't imagine what you must be dealing with right now. My hope and prayer for you is that even as you grieve your son's passing you can be comforted by the love you had for each other and know that it never dies. Please take care and allow yourself to mourn in the way that is right for you. No one should make you feel like you have to do anything that adds to your pain and grief.

Wishing you strength and peace as you face what is ahead.

wanauld posted 1/31/2014 09:18 AM

I'm so very sorry. We lost our son in September in a car accident. He was the same age as yours. For me, I have to take the emotions as they come and lean on family and friends. Day by day, it get's "easier" to process, but the sadness lingers. It just takes time and lot's of it. There will be triggers, one moment you are having a "good" day and something will pop up, a reminder, that brings you to your knees in pain. You have to just feel it and talk about.

You may feel guilty at times, when you are having a decent day, and you stop and question yourself "why am I smiling? I should be sad." Again, you work your way through it.

Talk about him, talk to him, talk to yourself, talk to friends.

You'll find you are stronger than you think you are right now.

Again, so very sorry. I understand.

betrayedfriend posted 1/31/2014 09:19 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss and I can understand not knowing how to feel about the baby. I do think you have a chance to carry on a bond with your son by being his child's grandparent. But you have to take it at your own pace. My condolances to you, his wife and child.

somanyyears posted 1/31/2014 09:19 AM


(((((((((lonely2009 and family/friends)))))))))

..sending prayers..


JanaGreen posted 1/31/2014 09:22 AM

I am so so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how you must feel right now. It's so incredibly unfair.

authenticnow posted 1/31/2014 09:29 AM

lonely, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there were some words to take some of the pain away but I know there aren't any.

wanauld, you are in my thoughts as well.

HardenMyHeart posted 1/31/2014 09:29 AM


StillLivin posted 1/31/2014 09:34 AM


whensitover posted 1/31/2014 09:40 AM

I have no words....but sending you prayers and hugs and strength!! (((((lonely)))))

lonely2009 posted 1/31/2014 09:45 AM

thank you for all the hugs.

things I have learned thru this process:

1. I hate sympathy cards.

2. People have no idea what to say, so they say really inappropriate things, for example, at the funeral, a former coworker came up to me and started telling me about a great lunch he just with his DS. such a great talk they had. Good grief. like that was helpful.

3. MY DH and i are on the same page, in all aspects of our life. We

4. Life is so short, we are going to do what we want.

5. My DS's ashes are sitting on the front entry table. I say goodbye, hello and basically talk to him every day. I am very grateful my DIL was gracious to share his ashes with us.

Lionne posted 1/31/2014 09:59 AM

I'm holding you in the LIGHT. I'm so sorry...

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