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Newest Member: Roaming (61812)

User Topic: Rock Bottom ...
♀ 38900
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last Thursday, after I discovered a new email address and confronted H what this email address was about ... we had another feud! Not again he says. Yap, again. After getting absolutely nothing out of my new discovery, I felt weak, literally. Felt hopeless. Seems every piece of evidence I find leads to NO WHERE! There always seems to be an exit (in his favour). No solid proof. His answer to this email address was, "I don't know, I can't remember". Really, like you create a new email address for nothing.

Later that day, I demanded we go to counselling. He was hesitant, didn't want to go. He did not need it he said, I told him, I need it. Then he says, "you go". I was furious. He slept downstairs that night. Woke up the next morning, went to work. Not a word. Got home, and to my surprise he apologized and agreed to go to counseling with me.

We've been good since. Now, I must be loosing my mind cause now that he has agreed to join me in counseling, I am scared to go. I am scared that for whatever reason that going will stir things up and go down from there. I have read lots on SI and counseling is good for some and not so good for others.

Wanted to update my readers about H apologizing and agreeing to join me in counseling.

Another chapter ... we will go to counseling eventually.

Me - 59 - I often have to remind myself of my age!
Husband - 59
DD1 April 5 2013 (a lie)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 266 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 22386
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is no easy button fixing this. I had fits of rage and anger for a long, long, time...years, hundreds of arguments. Don't be hard on yourself.

"I don't remember" is not an acceptable answer, he created the address, he certainly remembers. Have you thought about installing a secret keylogger on your home computer? Is this where you are finding evidence?

Counseling will be great TO STIR THINGS UP! You cannot move forward with denial, lack of clarity, trust, and rugsweeping. Stirring the pot will force the issue and hopefully some resolution in time.


[This message edited by annb at 5:42 PM, January 31st (Friday)]

Posts: 9853 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
♀ 36234
Member # 36234
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to marriage counseling. My husband and I went, it took us two tries to find a good counselor. I found counseling a safe place to explore our feelings, and bring up any concerns.
Good Luck and Hugs

BS Me 57
WS Him 55
Married 30 yrs
DDay 1/28/2012
I have no idea what is going on

Posts: 200 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Virginia
Topic Posts: 3

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