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stunnedin12 (original poster member #38141) posted at 9:11 PM on Friday, January 31st, 2014
can I not relax and just enjoy the respite!?!
I hate the background thought always lurking that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. (so to speak).
I know - time. Delightful time.
Actions - not words - consistent actions.
Words - not berating me and not being a jerk.
ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Lawyers involved.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 9:40 PM on Friday, January 31st, 2014
Because your system is still on hyper-aware status. Your body is still geared up in that fight or flight pattern and it takes a long time for it to let down. You body has to re-learn how to do that, and only after your mind starts to relax, and then nothing happens for a while, will your body start to slowly and cautiously unwind as well.
It really doesn't have anything to do with you, IFKWIM. It's a eons-old response built into your body to keep you alive.
Which is a very long way of saying that darned 4-letter word: time. 
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Keepcalm ( member #36234) posted at 2:22 AM on Saturday, February 1st, 2014
Two years out, I still find myself on alert. I consider it part of the new smarter me. I don't drive myself crazy with it, but I consider it a new skill set.
Fool me once...
BS Me 57
WS Him 55
Married 30 yrs
DDay 1/28/2012
I have no idea what is going on
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