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Newest Member: Lostjxb (61492)

User Topic: It's been a good couple of weeks - no major issues, so why
♀ 38141
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

can I not relax and just enjoy the respite!?!

I hate the background thought always lurking that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. (so to speak).

I know - time. Delightful time.
Actions - not words - consistent actions.
Words - not berating me and not being a jerk.

ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse

Lawyers involved.

Posts: 689 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because your system is still on hyper-aware status. Your body is still geared up in that fight or flight pattern and it takes a long time for it to let down. You body has to re-learn how to do that, and only after your mind starts to relax, and then nothing happens for a while, will your body start to slowly and cautiously unwind as well.

It really doesn't have anything to do with you, IFKWIM. It's a eons-old response built into your body to keep you alive.

Which is a very long way of saying that darned 4-letter word: time.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10056 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 36234
Member # 36234
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two years out, I still find myself on alert. I consider it part of the new smarter me. I don't drive myself crazy with it, but I consider it a new skill set.
Fool me once...

BS Me 57
WS Him 55
Married 30 yrs
DDay 1/28/2012
I have no idea what is going on

Posts: 200 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Virginia
Topic Posts: 3

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