Hi all,
I can't tell if I'm over exaggerating or if this was actually disrespectful. I am close to a year post D-Day (march) but the actual TNS (two-night stand) occurred this exact weekend last year (February 1st weekend). We are in a very good place in R, he has done everything he can to make me happy, but he knows I am still pretty insecure - especially this weekend. I made it very clear to him that this weekend would be a huge struggle for me because it was literally this exact weekend last year where I was hanging out at home, texting him, and he was away with OW hooking up and texting me saying I was the only girl he fancied. Now that I look back on it, I feel embarrassed, ashamed, afraid. He knows that.
I told him I didn't know what I wanted this weekend - if I wanted to see him and make this weekend a different memory, or if I wanted to keep my distance from him to prevent any triggers or getting upset/crying/emotional - just have my breathing space to process it has been a whole year. He said he understood and he will always there for me tonight and tomorrow if I need someone to talk to, or just to hangout and try and make this weekend a different memory for us. I said okay.
Later tonight, we are texting and he asks me what I'm doing. I say I'm just at my place hanging out with a girl-friend, and he proceeds to tell me, casually, that he is at a bar with some guys and they have been to 2 bars that night. He said it as if it was totally okay, as if he didn't know it would offend me.
I don't know if I'm over reacting but I am honestly extremely offended and feel disrespected. This is the one weekend where I have felt most insecure about our relationship - I have been replaying the memories of last year over over and over again. The memories are still so fresh in my head. We even had sex on Thursday night, and it reminded me of when we had sex Thursday night last year of this very weekend and then he cheated on me a day later. I cried during our sex after I triggered and I told him how I felt and he was very understanding. But now, he goes out with his buds to a bar when he knows I am sulking in miserable memories because of his actions? I just don't get it. Where is the common sense? I know I didn't say "please don't go out tonight" or "lets make plans later" but I just thought it would be common courtesy to not go out on the weekend anniversary that you cheated on your significant other, especially since his cheating started out by going to a bar with OW two nights in a row.
Am I over-exaggerating? I have given him one-worded answers over text because I don't know how to respond to him right now. Some of my friends say it is disrespectful, and he should know not to do that when I am at my most vulnerable. Other friends have said that we didn't make any plans and therefore it's not justifiable that I'm mad.
Any advice or tips on this? I always feel like I am over-reacting to these kinds of things and I don't know where the line is...