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Eventual success with R

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LAFA posted 2/1/2014 05:48 AM

Hello, everyone. I come here today to acknowledge that my wife and I have after much agony, frustration, and needless pain have found our way to an R that I can believe in. It has taken us a few years, many painful discussions, many failed discussions, and finally empathy on her part. I do know that the A is long gone, and will not return. Our path has been long, and filled with many things that could have destroyed our marriage if we had together been less than vigilant and allowed it. My love for her coupled with an insistence for mutual open communication, honesty, and transparency is paying off. My wife has come to understand that my thorough ways of being open to her without the fear, sans the lies of unneeded self protection do work. She has over the years been putting in the work to put us, and the health of the collective us ahead of all other things, large and small, to find our way back to where we should be as lifetime partners. There have been many severe bumps along the way, and she has not been the only one needing to swallow a whole lot of pride. I have become very proud of the way she is returning to the wonderful lady I exchanged vows with all those years ago. I guess I'm just saying that if you are lucky enough to have a WS with genuine remorse and a legitimate work ethic, along with a sincere desire to rebuild, don't give up. The recon is and will always will be a 2 way street with far too many potential pitfalls, but the possibility of successful rebuilding is there with a lot of time, and the blessing I have had of a spouse that owns the infidelity and puts a stop to it through truly learning themselves and their partner. I have finally come to believe we are going to make it. It's an awesome relief, and the absence of the daily pain that one's mind can put us through is truly fantastic. I know not all of us will ever get to savor this success with a spouse that truly gets it and sincerely does all possible to make amends and truly rebuild. Genuine R is possible, and as a BS, I am feeling so grateful. I wish Love, Serenity, and a life that finally gives them a partner with integrity. It has taken years, but I finally feel good fortune instead of misery. I wish the same for all of you. And a huge THANK YOU to the wise and caring members of SI that have helped us to get to what we hope is a great stepping stone to our rebuilding.

[This message edited by LAFA at 5:54 AM, February 1st (Saturday)]

Blobette posted 2/1/2014 07:05 AM

This is so wonderful to hear. I hope I'll be able to post this sometime! I wish you peace and much love and happiness in your future!

AFrayedKnot posted 2/1/2014 07:13 AM

RipsInMyChest posted 2/1/2014 07:47 AM

Beautiful and encouraging! Thank you!

HoneyMe posted 2/1/2014 11:21 AM

Thank you for sharing this update. For those of us on this path to R, it is heartwarming to hear success. I think that is where we are headed, and I love to hear that it is really possible. Best wishes to both of you.

BrokenMomof2 posted 2/1/2014 11:23 AM

So happy for you

IamDyingInside posted 2/1/2014 12:24 PM

So happy for you lafa. I am so early on in this process and only hope we have the same strength and determination to see it through.

Crushed15Feb13 posted 2/1/2014 12:28 PM

Thank you Lafa, that was some inspiration I needed.

Glad things are working out for your R.

OnAnIsland posted 2/1/2014 16:08 PM

thanks for coming back and sharing. enjoy the fruits of your labor.

LAFA posted 2/4/2014 09:22 AM

Just wanted to thank you all for your kind responses, and my W for stepping up and sharing the work with me. I'll be happy to help any others in any way I can.

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