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aero1122 posted 2/2/2014 11:39 AM

Just found my WH on a dating site. He says he was just looking for attention but never even finished setting it up. It had a picture of him sitting on our couch! He says he forgot about it because he deactivated it before d-day. Probably when he found the slut he slept with and started getting the attention from her.

Feels like d-day all over again

Rella posted 2/2/2014 11:50 AM

{{{aero1122}}}

So sorry. It sounds like his memory is selective and convenient.

Big {{{Hugs}}} right now.

nekorb posted 2/2/2014 12:50 PM

I'm so sorry. It's all so painful, isn't it?

aero1122 posted 2/2/2014 13:00 PM

It really is. I just feel so betrayed and lost. Like I am right back in the fog.

Mhiimg65 posted 2/2/2014 13:12 PM

I'm with ya sista. The day I found my WH profile on more than one site made me sick too. Then I saw all of the responses, mostly from paid protitutes. He found a freebie for 10 months until she dumped him

Hopefully like in my situation it was only a PA, and once you get through the movies in your mind it will get better. Although I found responses from WH to a few of them, his subsequent follow ups didn't happen. There may be something to that "I didn't respond, etc". Sometimes it's just knowing they can have more, helps their sexual ego. Good luck and keep calling him on it. You deserve the truth if you so want it. it sounds like he is remorseful, but don't let him protect you from the truth. When I first asked questions that I needed to know WH didn't want to tell me until I said "Do you want to help me or protect her?" That seemed to help. It's a great truth serum when they realize you need to know and it could be a deal breaker for them.

Personally, I'd keep snooping ...

aero1122 posted 2/2/2014 13:25 PM

Thank you. I am going to use that line on him tonight. I found the account and it was not completely set up and there was no message/contact with anyone that I could find. I will continue snooping but I really pray I don't find anything else. Dont know if I could handle it.
He has been very remorseful but he doesn't seem to understand that I need the entire truth or this is not going to work for me. I would rather hear it ALL from him than find out more on my own.

norabird posted 2/2/2014 15:20 PM

I'm sorry. I hope he gets the message about TT and soon!!

aero1122 posted 2/3/2014 17:44 PM

We had a long heated discussion last night and I feel like I got the answers I needed. He broke down and so did I and I felt like we were gonna be ok for the first time in a while.

And mhiimg65 I used that line and that is when he broke down so I am hoping this is a move in the right direction.

SadInNC posted 2/3/2014 18:05 PM

Hi. I am so sick of TT that I asked him to take a lie detector and that didn't go so well. It's like my wound has reopened and I can't eat or sleep or anything. I feel like he just doesn't get that I need ALL the truth not just little bits and pieces. If there was more than one A I need and want to know this. He just doesn't get it. He insists it was just the one time. And I don't believe him. We are stuck in this limbo place of hell. I just cannot trust him or take his word for it. No way.

How do you all cope at work? I am finding it very hard to get through my days.

aero1122 posted 2/3/2014 18:19 PM

I am home all day with our daughter and work from home at night. At first I couldn't concentrate at all but it has gotten easier as time goes by.

I told him that if I find anything else he is out. No other options for me. I cant keep thinking we are healing and then get thrown back by finding out more. I needed to hear the entire truth whether he thought it would hurt me or not. I am hopeful that I know it all but will continue to be cautious.

SadInNC posted 2/3/2014 18:40 PM

aero, if i decide to continue with R, I am going to tell him that if I find anything else, he is out. I'm not sure if i've said that. i've said a lot of things and so has he. i've given this man so many chances these past (almost) 2 months now since d day to tell me the entire truth. maybe he feels like the entire truth is just so bad that i would divorce him in a NY minute if i found out. ?? i don't know. maybe he has told me the enitre truth and i refuse to believe it. ??

good luck to you! i'm glad that you and your H had a good talk last night and made progress :) R is such a good thing when it is real. It is so healing!!

aero1122 posted 2/3/2014 19:01 PM

Thanks sadinnc. I hope you can get what you need from him to help you heal.
Remember we have all been here and understand.

(((Hugs)))

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