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User Topic: found his dating profile
aero1122
♀ 41575
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just found my WH on a dating site. He says he was just looking for attention but never even finished setting it up. It had a picture of him sitting on our couch! He says he forgot about it because he deactivated it before d-day. Probably when he found the slut he slept with and started getting the attention from her.

Feels like d-day all over again


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 105 | Registered: Dec 2013
Rella
♀ 21136
Member # 21136
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{aero1122}}}

So sorry. It sounds like his memory is selective and convenient.

Big {{{Hugs}}} right now.


Happily Divorced- final in Oct. 2009, Engaged to my True Love in Dec. 2012

When his family jokingly tells you of how "spoiled" HE was as a child, RUN- It doesn't change when they get older!


Posts: 2206 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: New England
nekorb
♀ 40306
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. It's all so painful, isn't it?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
aero1122
♀ 41575
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really is. I just feel so betrayed and lost. Like I am right back in the fog.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 105 | Registered: Dec 2013
Mhiimg65
♀ 41951
Member # 41951
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with ya sista. The day I found my WH profile on more than one site made me sick too. Then I saw all of the responses, mostly from paid protitutes. He found a freebie for 10 months until she dumped him

Hopefully like in my situation it was only a PA, and once you get through the movies in your mind it will get better. Although I found responses from WH to a few of them, his subsequent follow ups didn't happen. There may be something to that "I didn't respond, etc". Sometimes it's just knowing they can have more, helps their sexual ego. Good luck and keep calling him on it. You deserve the truth if you so want it. it sounds like he is remorseful, but don't let him protect you from the truth. When I first asked questions that I needed to know WH didn't want to tell me until I said "Do you want to help me or protect her?" That seemed to help. It's a great truth serum when they realize you need to know and it could be a deal breaker for them.

Personally, I'd keep snooping ...


" He paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
BS - me
WS- him
married 26 years, together since kids
D- Day Jan 4 2014
PMA- starting this moment
R - in MC. WH is in IC

Posts: 145 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
aero1122
♀ 41575
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I am going to use that line on him tonight. I found the account and it was not completely set up and there was no message/contact with anyone that I could find. I will continue snooping but I really pray I don't find anything else. Dont know if I could handle it.
He has been very remorseful but he doesn't seem to understand that I need the entire truth or this is not going to work for me. I would rather hear it ALL from him than find out more on my own.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 105 | Registered: Dec 2013
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry. I hope he gets the message about TT and soon!!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4238 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
aero1122
♀ 41575
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a long heated discussion last night and I feel like I got the answers I needed. He broke down and so did I and I felt like we were gonna be ok for the first time in a while.

And mhiimg65 I used that line and that is when he broke down so I am hoping this is a move in the right direction.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 105 | Registered: Dec 2013
SadInNC
♀ 42170
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi. I am so sick of TT that I asked him to take a lie detector and that didn't go so well. It's like my wound has reopened and I can't eat or sleep or anything. I feel like he just doesn't get that I need ALL the truth not just little bits and pieces. If there was more than one A I need and want to know this. He just doesn't get it. He insists it was just the one time. And I don't believe him. We are stuck in this limbo place of hell. I just cannot trust him or take his word for it. No way.

How do you all cope at work? I am finding it very hard to get through my days.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 345 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
aero1122
♀ 41575
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am home all day with our daughter and work from home at night. At first I couldn't concentrate at all but it has gotten easier as time goes by.

I told him that if I find anything else he is out. No other options for me. I cant keep thinking we are healing and then get thrown back by finding out more. I needed to hear the entire truth whether he thought it would hurt me or not. I am hopeful that I know it all but will continue to be cautious.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 105 | Registered: Dec 2013
SadInNC
♀ 42170
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

aero, if i decide to continue with R, I am going to tell him that if I find anything else, he is out. I'm not sure if i've said that. i've said a lot of things and so has he. i've given this man so many chances these past (almost) 2 months now since d day to tell me the entire truth. maybe he feels like the entire truth is just so bad that i would divorce him in a NY minute if i found out. ?? i don't know. maybe he has told me the enitre truth and i refuse to believe it. ??

good luck to you! i'm glad that you and your H had a good talk last night and made progress :) R is such a good thing when it is real. It is so healing!!


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 345 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
aero1122
♀ 41575
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks sadinnc. I hope you can get what you need from him to help you heal.
Remember we have all been here and understand.

(((Hugs)))


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 105 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 12

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