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contemplating taking a break from SI

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Alyssamd24 posted 2/2/2014 11:42 AM

I have not been on this site as much lately because I feel like it's almost making it harder for me to move on...not the site itself, cuz it is a fantastic site and I have learned so much from being on here, and am so grateful to have found it.

But sometimes reading other posts almost makes it harder to move forward cuz relating to them brings me back to when I was in the A....not the wayward thinking,but it reminds me of the shitty things I have done and makes it harder to focus on now.

And I am on the site a lot normally....like multiple times a day. I feel like it's not ok for me to be constantly reading this site....to truly move past the bad choices I made I need to make a clean break.

I don't know if this makes any sense or if anyone else has felt this way, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on it before I disappear.

Brandon808 posted 2/2/2014 11:48 AM

Speaking as a BH I can say I know what you mean. I have been posting a lot lately but there was a period of time when I barely look and even more rarely posted.

Everyone is different. If you find it harder to focus on the now then do what you need to do. As long as it is in support of your healing and leading a open, authentic life then it is very reasonable to do so.

SandAway posted 2/2/2014 12:13 PM

Yep, I remember feeling that way.

But now it helps me by keeping it all real. The pain, sadness, betrayal and even the hope.

Its OK to take a break from SI. I think many people do it at some point. You will know when your ready to come back.

SurprisinglyOkay posted 2/2/2014 15:13 PM

I take breaks when we travel.
I don't have a smart phone, so I can't check it when we're away from my computer. I could use my Bs's phone but I choose not to.

It's nice to take a break sometimes.

20WrongsVs1 posted 2/2/2014 20:33 PM

I took *two whole weeks* off of SI recently.

It was still here when I came back.

Trying33 posted 2/3/2014 10:44 AM

I think it's healthy to take breaks, it can get a bit too much sometimes and as I always say in my IC sessions, I need to LIVE my life to allow it to move forward. Sometimes I feel like I'm holding my breath and waiting for changes to just happen.

For me, SI keeps me stimulated and is a go to. It really replaced my AP. A place for me to go to and share my thoughts and feelings and to try to understand wtf happened. My infidelity doesn't feature much in my M as my H has convinced himself it never happened, for me though, I need a lot of support as I feel stuck and frustrated.

I'm now using SI to help me work on my M. How to better communicate and relate. It sometimes get's intense at which point I just log off until a topic I can relate to comes up, where I can contribute and support.

Take a break, but hope to see you back at some point.

ladycody posted 2/3/2014 10:49 AM

I haven't been here long but at one point had to back off for a bit because I was obsessed with reading. I don't know if it just helped me to know I wasn't alone or what...but anything that is done obsessively can be an issue, I think....so I get it.

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