SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So the DA office called me before 8 am this morning which is early because they don't come in here until 830. Anyways they want me to come in at 2pm today for a meeting.

Back story for those that don't remember or haven't been following me....

I am in a battered women shelter and in DEC he was arrested for aggrevated stalking. He bonded out Dec 23rd with a GPS ankle monitor on and supervised visits once a week on Saturdays through courts with a monitor for two hours.

I met with DA three weeks ago and turned over an iphone he provided kids that has a tracking device on and an app where he could listen to phone calls and conversations. At that meeting they told me they did not know if they had a case based on him harressing my family but the cell phone would be the key. They were going to try to get into the phone as he had a code on the restrictions so I could not see what is in installed. They said they would have my advocate call me once they knew if they would take the case or not.

I am nervous. Does this mean they are calling me in to say that they are not taking the case and just being delicate because I am in a battered womens shelter? OMG I am freaking out.

I called a cop friend of mine who works in the same county and he said there is no way in hell the DA would call me in to just say they were not taking the case based on not enough evidence. Which trust me THERE WAS PLENTY. The cell phone was only ONE part of it. He said he believed they were calling me in ask more questions and to tell me they are pursing it.

I am a wreck and sick as a dog. I have no one else to turn to besides yall here (who have been WONDERFUL BTW) and my cop friend. All other "friends" ran away because they don't wont to be involved in my "issues" wow some friends huh?

I asked my cop friend if maybe they were telling me they were going to remove his monitor and drop charges. He said they cant just do that on the monitor they need a court order and I have not been notified of any hearings which they told me they would do on ANY TINY Hearing at all.

So what is YOUR thoughts? I just need someone to talk to me and maybe give me what you are thinking it could be. I cant take more bad news. He has not been held responsible for all his rule breakings this entire time. I feel like I am not even the victim most of the time because he seems to get by with SOOOO much even though my restraining order says he cant do x, y and z he still does and they just say oh well.

Please pray for me today to. Please please please because I need no more stress right now.

Anyways, I just needed to reach out and have an ear or a friend to talk to. Oh I am just a basket case and I know I am over thinking it but sometimes how can you not when you are dealing with someone that is NPD and Anti-social personality you know??

SIGH......... I need to just breathe and calm down......... Super SIGH.....

PS.... Don't forget he also filed for FULL CUSTODY of the kids right after our TPO hearing where I got a restraining order and full custody of kids.

His trail is set for April 21st for the battery, cruelty to kids charges and interference with 911. Which they did warn me could get continued and usually does at first calendar call for court.........

Oh man please be good news today...please please please........

I am reading your story and I see the word "stalking" and I can relate. I think you should just relax as they probably just have more questions. They are surely taking your case. My situation is different, but I am in court as well. The "OW" stalked me. I have a real life "Fatal Attraction"...just like the movie. I can feel your anxiety through your words. The OW stalked me for months while my "H" was having an affair with her. He had no idea until her identity was revealed to me by law enforcement. Being a crime victim, usually you deal with victims Advocate, but he hired me an attorney. It is extremely stressful. I know and can feel our pain for sure. When I get calls from the Prcecutors Office, I get scared. The "OW" is a scarey woman and she stalked me in everyway possible. I actually don't leave my house without my "tazer" !!! Try to relax...take a deep breath. There is no way they are dropping your case. "HUGS" to you...

(((teeghan)))

In my experience with the DA and my Ex, they call when they're moving your case forward and are either looking for more information or to give you an update. I think it's a good sign that they're calling.

It is my understanding that when there's no news or the case has stalled, they usually don't have time to call victims. Of course there are exceptions, but I heard from them regularly when they were working on the cases against the ex.

Hang in there. I know it's very nerve wracking, but they are there to help you.

((teeghan)) sorry you're still dealing with all this. While I know nothing about law enforcement, his behavior has been so over the top (and on record) that it seems unlikely he won't face some consequences (maybe-hopefully they've been giving him enough rope? Seems like it works that way sometimes, maybe?). I'm so impressed with your progress and positive attitude, you've been so strong and steady in the face of this situation that it's inspiring. You knew when to seek help and have made the most and followed through with any that was offered. Whatever it is they want to discuss (and I will personally be hoping that it will be how you can help them NAIL him) you will handle it with the grace and dignity you've shown so far. There will be many of us wishing you well, I hope you can feel it during your meeting.

[This message edited by thisissogross at 9:03 AM, February 3rd (Monday)]

(((teeghan)))

Your doing great. Keep focus on you and your kiddos. Keep making progress, your doing great.

Keeping you in my prayers today. Listen, the DAs office is SO busy, that they really don't have the extra time to ask people to come in just so they can tell them that they are not doing anything. If they asked you to come in, and in the same day, then I would take that as a sign that things are progressing forward. So take any and all documentation that you might have that might be needed. (((hugs)))

Well his attorney got an emergency hearing tomorrow to see if there is enough evidence to bound his case over or not. Which leaves us scrambling to get together so da is trying to ask for a continuance on the hearing. Ugh I am a basket case. I hate that fucker.

(((teeghan)))

I hate him too.

I am sorry you are scrambling. Try not to obsess. Write it down. All those things pinging around in your brain? Write them down. Make charts, lists, whatever.

Anything the DA prepared you with, just relax and let them lead you through it. The DA knows what must be presented.

I will be praying and holding you in peace and strength tomorrow.

I completely understand the feeling of "who exactly is the victim." It is frustrating, but don't be discouraged. Please. Try to let the system work for you, but be thinking of "what if" and "worst case scenario" options.

Hang in there, girlie.

Stay strong girl. Remember you have done nothing wrong and he has done everything wrong. B

Focus on your kids and yourself. You will be ok

Sending you tons and tons of SI Mojo and strength.

((((teeghan)))) Sending you strength, honey. I'm also sending all kinds of mojo for the DA to nail this fucker to the wall.

I hope it went ok for you today. Just read your post and said a prayer for you. Stay strong. We are here for you.

As a retired police officer I'll tell you to hold the line on him. Don't let him off if he has battered you.

It will only reinforce horrible behavior, and make it all the worse for you or the next woman he interacts with.

Violence against women should not be tolerated, it will only escalate. Be strong.

[This message edited by Justgreatnews at 8:23 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]

By the way, domestic violence cases have really changed in the last 25 years. Any good DA's office now takes every case extremely seriously.

If they are after you to testify, it is because they feel the case warrants such attention, and they have a strong feeling that a conviction is not only likely, but necessary.

Put him where he belongs, and/or can get help. Don't ignore such a serious problem.

Judge felt it was a fine line agh stalking so he dismissed. So my attorney is filing for a tpo modification to keep visits supervised at the court center. Ugh. I am holding him to anything I can.

[This message edited by teeghan at 3:43 PM, February 4th (Tuesday)]

oh, teeghan...

I can't say I am surprised. I WISHED (hoped) that your experience would not reinforce my belief that the system is designed to punish those who are willing to follow "the rules" and there are too many loopholes for assholes. loopholes for assholes. I typed that out and made myself laugh!

It is why a worst case scenario back up plan will keep you from scrambling for a plan. I am glad you are working on a modified plan to keep him on a short leash.

Chin up. Remember, YOU are worth fighting for. So keep up the good fight!

((((teeghan))))

Thank you I agree we have a awful system. I am fighting hard though