So, who among you are able to sleep in the same bed as before you got the news? Are there any suggestions for getting past this kind of thing just so I can actually sleep comfortably, physically speaking at least?
BTW, looks like I'll be stuck in this house for some time still. Long list of reasons, but just trust me. If I had my way, i'd sell and move out tomorrow.
Just do it man. It's just a bed.
Hang in there.
Get rid of that bed! It'll be worth every penny. Some things in life you just have to spend out on, and this is one of them.
Being home alone after dday was terrible for me, so I ended up staying with my parents for a couple months. After we both moved back in, we repainted our bedroom and rearranged all the furniture. If you can't go somewhere else, maybe you could change something like the sheets or the location of the bed so it seems different enough.
Consider faking it until you make it, presuming R is on the table? And if it is, having the WS do whatever it takes to help. There were a *lot* of restless nights for me, and thus us, in the first couple of weeks. I mean like 3 hours of sleep per night on average. Looking back, I don't know how I managed to stay upright. Typical pattern: talk late before bed, sleep for a few hours, wake up restless, start talking again. Repeat. It's much better now.
There are a couple of things that have to happen that make it possible for us to live in the same house until my ducks are in a row for D..
The first is the bedroom arrangement as mentioned..
The second thing is that WH is not allowed to watch TV in the same room with me unless he has the wireless headphones in his ears..
He loves to watch the TV cranked high and watches it all of his waking hours when at home..I wouldn't be able to live with this habit of his if it weren't for the head/earphones..
Had WH been at all stubborn about moving to another room of the house to sleep I would have been out of the house ducks in a row or not..Same with the TV issue..
WH knows that me being out of the house would have meant an official D happening at the point of my leaving, with him having the loss of health insurance and a way to pay some of the bills...
WH knows that he cannot walk all over me in regards to my boundaries regarding living habits in the house..
Simply devastated, it sounds like you need to develop a loud and nasty snoring and drooling problem or start peeing in the bed, lol.. This may get your WH the heck out of the bedroom fast
[This message edited by doggiediva at 12:23 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]
He NEVER brought woman to our home, since I don't travel, and she lived 4 hours away. Otherwise I am not sure I would have been able to stay, I certainly would have burned the bed, and redone the room.
I have a hole to finish patching in the bedroom wall anyway, so I may take that opportunity to just repaint. Maybe that'll help some.
I'm in the guest room. Not welcome in our bed.
I'm sorry, but how are you not welcome in your bed? You're the BS. I could understand a BS saying that to a WS, especially if they're not showing remorse.
I'm sorry it's like that for you.
I bought some yardsale stuff (bed, dresser, chest) and moved it into a spare room, with the intent of redecorating the empty master bedroom.
Never did it, and I'm fairly comfortable where I am.
I'll probably slap some paint and new flooring down there just to make the room more useful.
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
MOW was never at our house (dear God I hope that's the truth). So we are in our bed - together - crying - talking - and yea some HB.
It took awhile, but I claimed both sides of the bed. I use as many or as few pillows as I want.
I fall asleep on the couch if I want. No one nags me about sleeping in the living room, or interrupts my sleep with snoring or tossing or turning.
I don't lie in bed awake raging because the guilty seem to have no trouble sleeping.
Four years out? The answer is "I sleep just fine, when and where (and with?) as I please."
It gets better. I promise. Whether your future is R or D, time is a great healer.
I now sleep on a tiny crappy futon at my moms in a tiny room. Me, a professional with a nice house and a career living with mom because of that whore.
I lost everything i built over 14 years, bed included.
I now sleep like a baby.
So I sleep I. It still.
I am however going to buy new bedding/linen and repainted the room. Just to make it "mine"
Oh, and I took the ugly print off he wall that he loved :) it's in a box with some of his other things in the garage,