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Your thoughts on a trip to Las Vegas

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julesinpain posted 2/3/2014 11:50 AM

What are your thoughts on your WS going off to Las Vegas with a bunch of same sex friends? In my case other guy friends. Ones who are also married, but who get really drunk and watch strippers, and invite other random woman around the pool to join them in the $1800.00 dollar cabana they rented. (this happened the last time all these men got together) They now want my WH to join them this time.

I am uncomfortable with it, one because I just don't feel Las Vegas (sin city) is a good place for married or committed men to go without their wives or girlfriend, and two because my WH has cheated on me. It was with the same woman twice, not with random women and we are in a different place then we were even a month ago. But I am still having a hard time trusting him.

I told him if he really wants to go, then he should go. I also have told him my concerns and how I feel about it.

I am curious what others feel about these situations.

Raven96 posted 2/3/2014 11:55 AM

No way. He shouldn't even be considering it out of respect for you.

Cookie7088 posted 2/3/2014 12:00 PM

"Ones who are also married, but who get really drunk and watch strippers, and invite other random woman around the pool to join them in the $1800.00 dollar cabana they rented."

Yes, please...one vote to the "HELL NO" catgory!

KatieG posted 2/3/2014 12:00 PM

Not so soon. If you feel uncomfortable and he wants to R he should respect your feelings.
Can you imagine what you be feeling/thinking while he is away? That would be unfair of him to put you in that situation, you cannot know what he is doing 24 hours a day.

Getting to Happy posted 2/3/2014 12:13 PM

Why don't you go with him??

Otherwise a big ol' NO!

Does he 'get' that you will not feel comfortable the whole time he will be gone?

I get that you don't feel great telling a grown man what to do...but with his track record he should be making a big show out of NOT going.

JMHO

Take2 posted 2/3/2014 12:25 PM

Personally, I'd be pissed he even thought it was a possibility. To my mind - he's proven he can't handle that kind of "independence".

cl131716 posted 2/3/2014 12:27 PM

No way. It wouldn't even be an option.

steadfast1973 posted 2/3/2014 12:30 PM

Yeah... NOPE! FWH's friends keep pressuring him to go on weekend trips like he used to. Fucking, NOPE. He was lucky he got to go after dday1. Now... NOPE. knowing that the "curiosity" with strippers and escorts started on one of those weekend trips. Fuck to the no.

rachelc posted 2/3/2014 12:30 PM

unless my husband is going fishing in Canada with the guys in a remote location, there will be no guys week out.
The other poster is correct in that he lost that right when he cheated.
I'm also a former WW and my life is different now because of what I did. No nights apart.
Also, he needs to reevaluate this friendship group.

Lonelygirl10 posted 2/3/2014 12:35 PM

No way. I think I would be upset if my guy even asked to go to Vegas on a guys trip that involves strippers after he cheated on me.

AFrayedKnot posted 2/3/2014 12:36 PM

Vegas=Sex

Jrazz posted 2/3/2014 12:37 PM

What Chicho said.

julesinpain posted 2/3/2014 12:49 PM

Getting to Happy,

Why don't you go with him??

He would actually like me to go with him, but none of the other men are taking their wives. Or even thought about inviting their wives along. So..

I have talked about how I feel and that I don't like it and how I would be nervous he might get super drunk with the other guys and some girl might come onto him and who knows what will happen. He says " I wouldn't let myself get that drunk like they do" Hahaha, yeah right! This I do not believe at all! He did say, he wants us and is not looking for anyone else. Heard that before too. :(

He is very handsome and charming and woman are drawn to him. He talks very easily with the opposite sex. These men friends he is going with, I don't trust them, well most of them. This group of friends away from their wives, makes me really uneasy having my husband going with them.

I will not be telling him what he should do. This is on him to make the decision. I will tell him one more time how it makes me nervous and anxious and leave it in his hands to do what he wants to do.

We also rarely ever go on trips together. About once a year due to money, and time off work. So that is another issue for me. If we don't have the money to spend on a nice trip for us as a couple together to get away, I feel he shouldn't be spending it on this trip. It will be expensive, the way these friends he will be going with spend money. If he and I had plenty of money to go on other trips together, this part would not be an issue for me. A trip for us together would be so much more healing for our marriage then this trip for him alone with his buddies In Las Vegas, while I sit at home nervous about what he is doing.

lordhasaplan? posted 2/3/2014 12:56 PM

I am uncomfortable with it,

'
That is all that needs to be said. As such he should not take the trip or take you along.

realitybites posted 2/3/2014 12:56 PM

Have YOU ever gone on a trip on your own? I am not saying this is the answer to his trip but I just want to know if you ever taken any personal time just for you?

I just find it interesting how he has no problem carving out personal time to have fun with his friends....and a trip to Vegas to boot. So what do you do for yourself?

WarpSpeed posted 2/3/2014 12:57 PM

We also rarely ever go on trips together. About once a year due to money, and time off work. So that is another issue for me. If we don't have the money to spend on a nice trip for us as a couple together to get away, I feel he shouldn't be spending it on this trip.

I would communicate this to him. Tell him you'd rather take this vacation time and money and invest it in the marriage with a trip you two enjoy together. Talk to him.

best luck

Sal1995 posted 2/3/2014 12:58 PM

No way

tushnurse posted 2/3/2014 13:01 PM

NOPE
NUUH
NO WAY
NOT GONNA HAPPEN
NOT IN THIS LIFETIME
NEIN
NONE
And any other way you can think of saying NO

FightingBack posted 2/3/2014 13:09 PM

I just cannot believe that your H would even consider going on such a trip again EVER.

And I also can't believe this.

I told him if he really wants to go, then he should go

Do you really mean this?

BeyondBreaking posted 2/3/2014 13:12 PM

NOPE.

If my husband even ASKED to go on a trip like this, it would cause a fight.

Obviously you are not your husband's mother, and if he wants to go, he will go. However you certainly have the right to establish boundaries you are comfortable with, and you have the right to choose not to be with someone who is continually lying, cheating, and disrespecting your boundaries.

Essentially, him deciding to go is him saying a big fat, "I don't care" to your feelings.

Additionally, it is him continuing to selfishly choose himself, his wants, and his "fun" as a priority over you, your feelings, and your marriage.

If my husband insisted and insisted...I probably wouldn't be able to physically stop him from going. But he certainly wouldn't be coming home to me afterwards.

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