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hopefulmother (original poster member #38790) posted at 7:43 PM on Monday, February 3rd, 2014
To our newbies:
I know it seems crazy, hopeless, and painful right now.
Hang in there...whether you want to R or move on. It will get easier. After the shock and trauma wear off and you no longer just "feel" so much 24/7 till you are numb from it all....you will awaken.
There will be a moment of clarity (like when you get drunk) where you will say to yourself. I deserve better. I am better than this.
You will no longer grasp desperately to your WS. You will think, "Does this person deserve me?" "Is this WS good enough for me?" "Do I really want to spend the rest of my life building a future with someone this weak and selfish?"
Then they will be on the job interview of their life...proving they are worthy for you.
If you choose to leave. Well, what you left just wasn't worth it anyway.
Your castle is waiting elsewhere, so lift your chin up princess...your tiara is falling.
Many hugs and wishes for you all. Come here often and keep pushing through the ashes.
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
4everfaithful83 ( member #41761) posted at 8:10 PM on Monday, February 3rd, 2014
WELL SAID!!! :)
THANK YOU!
I'm saving this so I can read it EVERY day!
Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...
ME: 36
1 doggie
DDay: June 24th, 2013
DDay 2 : August 22nd,2017
Left him August 26th, 2017
Hannah25 ( member #42198) posted at 8:13 PM on Monday, February 3rd, 2014
That is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you
ME: 35
WBF: 44
Together 11 years
DDay: 1/12/14
DDay2: 3/28/14
hopefulmother (original poster member #38790) posted at 8:37 PM on Monday, February 3rd, 2014
Thank you 4everfaithful83 (enjoy the new snow) and Hannah25...and you are both very welcome.
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
headdesk ( member #40787) posted at 9:31 PM on Monday, February 3rd, 2014
Awesome post. I remember distinctly going from 'understanding supportive and calm but totally hurt and resentful wife' to a 'you have GOT to be kidding me, I'll put my boot up your butt wife'.
It was wonderful coming into that power. This marriage was long overdue it and it's change the dynamic of the whole family in a healthier way.
Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).
PRNDL ( member #41927) posted at 12:40 AM on Tuesday, February 4th, 2014
BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Son: 12
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Affair continued.
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
Divorced
A over. Defogged. Trying R
iamsoblind42 ( member #42022) posted at 3:24 AM on Tuesday, February 4th, 2014
Thank you. My DDay was just a little over 3 weeks ago but already have the date/time this chapter of my life will be over. 4/21/14 10AM
I already know he doesn't deserve me. Never has.
I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...
BS: me 44 (then 42)
WH: 50 (then 48)
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched
jstbreathe ( member #40829) posted at 3:40 AM on Tuesday, February 4th, 2014
Now if I only could find that magic wand! 
The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.
Stephen King
Me: BW
Him: WH
Married: 20 years
2 sons, 13 & 17
Raising my sons
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