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Topic: A phoenix will rise from these ashes.

hopefulmother
♀ 38790
Member # 38790

Posted: 1:43 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

To our newbies:

I know it seems crazy, hopeless, and painful right now.

Hang in there...whether you want to R or move on. It will get easier. After the shock and trauma wear off and you no longer just "feel" so much 24/7 till you are numb from it all....you will awaken.

There will be a moment of clarity (like when you get drunk) where you will say to yourself. I deserve better. I am better than this.

You will no longer grasp desperately to your WS. You will think, "Does this person deserve me?" "Is this WS good enough for me?" "Do I really want to spend the rest of my life building a future with someone this weak and selfish?"

Then they will be on the job interview of their life...proving they are worthy for you.

If you choose to leave. Well, what you left just wasn't worth it anyway.

Your castle is waiting elsewhere, so lift your chin up princess...your tiara is falling.

Many hugs and wishes for you all. Come here often and keep pushing through the ashes.

Me-BW 42
WH-42 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 1789 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA

4everfaithful83
♀ 41761
Member # 41761

Posted: 2:10 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

WELL SAID!!! :)

THANK YOU!

I'm saving this so I can read it EVERY day!

Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 33
WBF: 30
Together 10 years
1 doggie, 1 Cat
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...Working at it every day.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania

Hannah25
♀ 42198
Member # 42198

Posted: 2:13 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

That is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you

ME: 35
WBF: 44
Together 11 years
DDay: 1/12/14
DDay2: 3/28/14

Posts: 65 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ohio

hopefulmother
♀ 38790
Member # 38790

Posted: 2:37 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

Thank you 4everfaithful83 (enjoy the new snow) and Hannah25...and you are both very welcome.

Me-BW 42
WH-42 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 1789 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA

headdesk
♀ 40787
Member # 40787

Posted: 3:31 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

Awesome post. I remember distinctly going from 'understanding supportive and calm but totally hurt and resentful wife' to a 'you have GOT to be kidding me, I'll put my boot up your butt wife'.

It was wonderful coming into that power. This marriage was long overdue it and it's change the dynamic of the whole family in a healthier way.

Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013

PRNDL
♂ 41927
Member # 41927

Posted: 6:40 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

Thank you do much

BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Son: 12
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Affair continued.
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
Divorced
A over. Defogged. Trying R

Posts: 212 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Tampa Florida

iamsoblind42
♀ 42022
Member # 42022

Posted: 9:24 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

Thank you. My DDay was just a little over 3 weeks ago but already have the date/time this chapter of my life will be over. 4/21/14 10AM

I already know he doesn't deserve me. Never has.

I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 44 (then 42)
WH: 50 (then 48)
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched

Posts: 237 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado

jstbreathe
♀ 40829
Member # 40829

Posted: 9:40 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014

Now if I only could find that magic wand!

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.
Stephen King
Me: BW
Him: WH
Married: 20 years
2 sons, 13 & 17
Raising my sons

Posts: 170 | Registered: Sep 2013

Topic Posts: 8

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