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User Topic: the good wife
KatyDo
♀ 41245
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Spoiler alert: I mention the plot in case you haven't seen it yet ;)

Anyone else watch this show? It's excellent, and the infidelity issue isn't always in the plot every episode, but it does come up. At least it's being portrayed in a reasonable, somewhat realistic way, although they don't show the deep grieving process I think most of us go through. However it makes me think about some things...

What is about us "good wives" or "good spouses" - why do we stick around despite our hurtful spouses? Is our own goodness a liability, because we want to believe in the goodness of everyone despite ample evidence to the contrary?

I like how she separated and got her own place - she set some boundaries, but then how far does that go? Is she being naive and too-trusting in her relationship with her husband?

Anyone else contemplate this type of stuff?

[This message edited by KatyDo at 9:06 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 194 | Registered: Nov 2013
Brandon808
♂ 35619
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The problem I had with it is that she turned around and had an A with the partner who brought her aboard.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4118 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
KatyDo
♀ 41245
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ya I noticed that too - though it was after she found out her husband had slept with a co-worker. I guess she figured once that happened all bets were off. He had truly broken his vows and she decided to pursue her own happiness. However, she did stop that affair, realizing it was "too much."

It will be interesting to see what happens with that love relationship with Will. I'm still shocked that she decided to stay with her husband after he went to prostitutes. Ironic bc my WH didn't do that, but I have been unhappy with his womanizing ways for years - and yet *I* stay - so what the heck lol.


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 194 | Registered: Nov 2013
itstoomuch
♀ 42301
Member # 42301
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't watch tv too much, but I absolutely remember the first time I ever saw/heard of that show. I caught the final few minutes of it one night...her walking out to parking garage and saying a few words to the blond OW. That was soon after my WH got caught. It struck a cord deep down within me to see that clip..so identified with it on personal level.. and then after commercial to see show was called 'the good wife!' And I said, yep! That's me! Don't follow show much, but I do think it's a positive thing they chose to name a show after the good wife.


While I'm "new" to SI, I'm not "new" to "Surviving Infidelity."
4+ yrs post-DDay
17+ M
R is long and hard.
'The cloudiest skies do make the prettiest sunsets'

Posts: 130 | Registered: Feb 2014
itstoomuch
♀ 42301
Member # 42301
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just read other posts that came up while I was typing mine. Aww! I didn't know all that about her. That's definitely NOT me! Guess I should catch up on plot of show before I comment. But I remember it's initial impact just the same. Oh, well.


While I'm "new" to SI, I'm not "new" to "Surviving Infidelity."
4+ yrs post-DDay
17+ M
R is long and hard.
'The cloudiest skies do make the prettiest sunsets'

Posts: 130 | Registered: Feb 2014
KatyDo
♀ 41245
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like on the show how they are presenting infidelity from the women's point of view. And also from the "women who choose to stay" point of view.

I think statistics are that about fifty percent of people are cheated on, so there are probably a lot of people put in this situation who end up staying. Also a lot who divorce, since the stats on divorce are about as much.


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 194 | Registered: Nov 2013
scaredyKat
♀ 25560
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The show began just about the time I JFO. couldn't watch it then. Since, I've caught up, like the plots, generally. Her affair came at a time she was separated, not divorced so slippery slope there.

I, personally, stayed married because I became accustomed to being treated poorly. I didn't know about the cheating, but I did know that I was no longer respected. Except when my SAFWH would be ashamed of his shitty behavior and shower me with apologies and love and affection. Until the next time. I was a master rug sweeper, jack of all trades, appeasing angel, abused wife. Each time I'd make up my mind to leave, he'd have a crisis, job loss, illness, etc. I couldn't leave him in his time of need, could I?

I always had an Anne Frank view of the world. That despite all the horrors, I still believed that, deep down, people were good. I think I resent losing that more than anything else.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3855 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Revenge  Posted: 9:38 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stopped watching this show pretty much when I was watching the "good wife" sliding down the slippery slope. All the cliches', nothing new, nothing interesting, same old, same old tired soap opera.

I don't need to watch this kind of show for entertainment. I have my own life that could rival anything seen on a tv soap, plus all my dear friends here at SI lives. Why would I want to watch some fictional bullshit when the reality is right here, everyday at SI. It really isn't very entertaining. It is sad, painful, and explosive. Maybe here, though, we can actually help someone instead of just exploiting and mischaracterizing infidelity for money.

What is about us "good wives" or "good spouses" - why do we stick around despite our hurtful spouses?
I can't answer this as I don't feel I would say I was necessarily a "good wife", but I was certainly a faithful wife.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 10082 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Herkemeyer
♂ 36910
Member # 36910
Default  Posted: 6:22 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Used to watch that show with the (F)WW. After DDay I almost got physically ill to think she would sit and watch then have him come over for a good morning kiss the next day.


BH-43
(F?)WW-39 (neznayou)
DDay-08/10/12 TT for 18 Months (I think)
Married 19 years

Posts: 144 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Colorado
AML04
♀ 39682
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Used to really like the show. Remember being disappointed that she ended up having her own A with Will. I stopped watching after dday. Also stopped watching Grey's due to the infidelity plot line this season. Too hard.


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
de.va.sta.ted
♀ 22922
Member # 22922
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just coming here to see what you all thought of this show.
I am only on season 1, towards the end, but so far I think I like how they handle infidelity.

I mean, Alicia Florrick is a WAY more controlled person than I am, but her coldness to Peter, and the way her walls are up all the time resonates for me.
I like that she's tough and not overly-forgiving of him.
I think they clearly have a writer on board who knows the ins and outs of cheating.


Me: BW mid 40's Him: WH mid 50's
D-Day: 2009
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in...

Posts: 860 | Registered: Feb 2009
Topic Posts: 11

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