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Newest Member: DJC1978 (60705)

User Topic: Npd-x GF inappropriate
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a DD18 that has been having a hard time with me and her sister for a couple of years. It got so bad that she acted out by stealing from me multiple times and moving to live with her dad full time. All along I have suspected parental alienation.

DD asked me to take her someplace today. She and I had a very open talk about many things, including sexuality. We also talked about the past few years. It was easy, and sweet, and reminded my of DD of years ago.

At one point she told me that NPD-x live in GF has been unkind to her, and obsessively controlling her. To the point that DD is hiding in her room. She says no matter what I do GF is upset with me. She then told me this summer GF took her aside and said she felt like she was HER daughter and she would always be there to help her. She would even take her to get birth control without telling her father.


At that point she had only been there a few months. OMG, she tried to steal a important parenting moment. Perhaps she is a big part in DD18's issues??

How would you handle this??

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Posts: 4523 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What does your DD want you to do? Does she want your input at all? Does she want you to step in and smash the GF's teeth so far down her throat they'll scratch her asshole? 'Cuz that's where my thoughts immediately went. That I'd simply want to kill the GF. Strike that. I would need to kill her because of how she'd stepped into my place as the MOTHER.

Of course that's not going to be the right thing to do. So back to what does your DD want you to do? You can't control the GF, nor your X.

Maybe the GF is a big part of the behavior problems. I have no doubt that being 17/18 is also part of the problem. It sounds to me like your DD has opened the door for a renewed relationship, but you'll need to tread very carefully and not go any further through the door than your DD invites you.

But the GF needs to die.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, NG, I did feel like punching her teeth down her throat. LOL

I feel violated.

I did Ask DD if she wanted me to do anything, other than be a resource and listening ear. She said she wanted me to take her to the grocery store to buy some food for her, because GF controls what food is there, and also controls what DD may eat. She said the newest idea is that she drink non-refrigerated milk in cartons that is stored in the garage . She said she hates the taste. I could tell you a lot more about the food and it is flat out bizarre....nothing like a healthy family where a kid can eat what they want (within reaon), and so can their friends.

The sad thing was, DD18 was afraid to bring the food into the house. she said, GF is going to yell at me. We bought fruit, cheese, milk, granola bars, and OJ. So, we had a talk about having a voice, and how if she brought a bag of groceries to my house I would have a smile ear to ear. Buying groceries is not a bad thing etc. etc. She finally decided it was OK

DD also said she wanted me to send her dad a message about the birth control issue. I doubt it will do any good, except for DD18's faith in me.

NG, I am thinking GF and NPD-x are doing the old abuse by proxy routine through DD18. DD18 told me her dad keeps saying, "You need to be patient with GF...."


Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Posts: 4523 | Registered: Jan 2010
Topic Posts: 3

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