The road to survival, whether R (reconciliation) or D/S (Divorce/Separation) is long and painful.
Please drink water, try to eat food, even if it's only smoothies.
Read as much as you can in the Healing Library. There's a link in the yellow box at the upper left of your screen.
I don't think you should jump to MC (Marriage Counseling). I think IC (Individual Counseling) for you and your H are better first steps. When you have the tools to control yourself, and he understands why he did what he did, then you could do MC to rebuild your marriage. Until then, you're both broken, and how can you make a good marriage with broken parts?
ETA: I've been on SI for a while now, and one of the things that looks promising in your case is the instantaneous remorse and the fact that he told you before you discovered what he had done.
There are no guarantees.
[This message edited by TrustedHer at 10:30 AM, February 4th (Tuesday)]
Unfortunately, the first thing I am going to do is suggest that your husband is most likely still lying to you. They almost always are. Often times, WS's want to protect themselves while saying they are trying to protect you from being hurt. There very well could be more to this story, he very well could have been seeing prostitutes for much longer than he says he was, or he could have been seeing other women. He needs to be 100% honest with you. The fact he told you that he had been thinking about it for a month before he did it, and never told you is a clue that he hasn't been honest with you in the past. On a positive note, he confessed to you. Even if he is still hiding other details that is a big thing for him to do. A lot of WS's deny deny deny. Even when they get caught, they deny it and keep lying to themselves and you.
Just remember that this is not your fault. It is most definitely a problem with him that he needs to figure out, which may require counseling. Counseling will help both of you a lot, but until you can get into counseling, take the time to read articles from the healing library. There are also some great books out there. My wife and I have been reading "How to Help your Spouse Heal from your Affair" by Linda J MacDonald, and "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. "Not Just Friends" is an amazing book and I highly recommend it. Post here often, read other people's stories and know that you are not alone. I know it is very difficult, but you have to try and force yourself to eat, sleep, and do things you like to try and take your mind off things. I didn't eat for 3 days after everything started coming to the surface and I suffered some health problems because of it. Go see the doctor if you have to, but try to stay busy. Easier said than done, I know, but until you break the pattern of being sad and laying around crying all day, you won't start to get over this.
Make sure you are taking care of yourself and your kids. IC is, imho, essential. Even if you have to have WH watch the kids while you go and vice versa ... figure out a way.
If you belong to a church they may be able to help you with counseling, or recommendations. I know this is difficult. ((confused2014))