I Love my wife.... And she has said a few times that she wants to work on the marriage but she can't seem to stop communicating with this idiot!!!!
This woman is still deep within her dopamine-rich bullshit, love-of-legends fantasy world.
One highly-proven method of extracting her from it is to give her a mega-dose of consequences in the form of a served Petition for Dissolution of Marriage signed by the appointed family court judge. Apply this IMMEDIATELY.
This woman you see now is a fucking zombie. Instead of feeding on flesh though she feeds on bullshit-rich flattery from her shitbag "soulmate".
My ex wayward POS wife was the same exact way. She could not cease communications with her flattery/validation-for-sex adultery partner. No matter what the cost: her family, childrens well-being, dignity, relationship with her parents, etc. It wasn't until AFTER I divorced this disgusting neurotic that she finally stopped. All the while she wanted to reconcile with me. Can you believe it? You'd better believe it!
Retain a divorce attorney.
File for divorce immediately.
Have her served - publicly if possible.
Focus your efforts on YOU and YOUR CHILDREN.
Re-evaluate if you really love someone who would do this to you AND your children.
Again, protect your children. Children, by far, get the worst when it comes to adultery.
You can divorce her - they can't.
Keep coming back to post and get advice. We've all been through this.