hurts123,
Sorry that you find yourself here. We all know the pain you are feeling right now.
There are thousands of stories of married couples who find themselves in the incredibly painful and destructive situation of adultery.
A most common thought among them is: "If I could only go back in time before marrying this person. If I could have seen the signs."
These people are not only married but also have children together. Children who love their families more than anything else in the world. Children whose intact family provides them the foundation of their stability and safety. Now, this is all destroyed.
The aftermath is unbelievably painful. Far, far more so than what you feel now. The hurt you feel for children of adultery is extreme and intense.
Look, take some time to really reflect and get some perspective of your potential future. This woman has shown you something incredible.
She has given you a gift. The wonderful gift of time travel. She has shown you the future.
REALLY LOOK AT IT.
Not married, no kids, no assets, no joint accounts, and only four years together.
Imagine how you would feel if you had spent 25 years married to this woman AND THEN she did this. Imagine feeling the last 25 years were all a lie. Imagine what your children would be going through. Imagine dealing with extremely expensive divorce attorneys, custody hearings, division of assets, alimony, child support, and the devastation of being betrayed by the one who was supposed to protect the family you had built.
There are many, many stories here just as I described.
Again, not married, no kids, no assets, no joint accounts, etc...
The likelihood of this woman betraying you again is very, very high. That is simply the truth.
I would literally bet a million dollars that they not only had sex but that they also did NOT use any protection. They almost never do. It adds too much reality to their fantasy.
She has demonstrated that she is not committed, is irresponsible, and is full of excuses.
It won't be difficult AT ALL to do better than this.
I would highly suggest you thank her for the good time up until she betrayed your trust and wish her a nice life.