SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It's been over six months since she told me. Since then, she has been making attempts to show love for me, and that she can be trusted again. I do love her, but trust is something she will never get back. I now know that, in her mind, this behavior was acceptable, or somehow justified. That being her mentality, I know it can always happen again. It sucks really. I am married and have two young children with someone I love. But she chose to hurt me. I am always alone now. Weather I'm with her and/ or the kids, or not. I haven't been able to shake the grief. She is from this state. I am not. She has a lot of friends to talk to. I'm not close enough to anyone around here to trust enough as that kind of friend. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business. I don't want to advertise the affair. I just need a close friend to talk to. Someone I can trust. Someone to assure me that I am not alone. No, even now, I don't know if my marriage will survive this. I am more adamant about not hurting the children than anything else. Having been divorced once before, I know it tears everyone involved apart, even the children. I just can't take feeling alone anymore.

Have you each gotten IC? It sounds as if having someone to talk to would be beneficial for not only the M, but for you. You are not really healing, or getting what you need, and that's not okay.

I've read your profile.

1) Are you saying your W had an A with her therapist?

2) The feelings and thoughts you describe are pretty common for this soon after D-Day. You sound like you don't think you can ever heal from this hurt, and that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

3) You're not alone. The virtual world is different from the real one, but we know your pain, and we here to provide support. Just let us know what you need.

4) In the I Can Relate (ICR) forum, there are threads for Betrayed Men and for BS Questions for WSes. You might take a look there to see if those threads help.