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Suckerpunched66 (original poster new member #35700) posted at 7:14 PM on Tuesday, February 4th, 2014
I am a major lurker....I rarely post but I really need some help here. I am approaching the start of year 2 since dd and so much has happened in my life since. Long story short, I got hurt and haven't been able to work since dd... Had 2 major surgeries one was a cancer scare but thank god I am fine ... We lost our home and have moved in with WH mother... (We actually took over her home and she is in an attached appt) so not as bad as it sounds in that aspect ...ibut I feel so lost without my own home I am so sad about it . My WH is textbook remorseful etc. but I am I not as far in healing as I thought I would be . I feel like I am coming out of a fog and am now dealing with the pain or something because I am sooooooo angry and extremely hurt now. My mind is constantly going back to day 1 . I walk around with this heavy heart all of the time. I was on Zoloft for the past year but I decided to come off of it. I just got sick of having to medicate myself to deal with what my life has become. I don't know I guess that wasn't a good decision but nevertheless I am off it now . I do love my WH but I honestly don't know if I can ever love him again ..... I keep on keeping on .....I just want to be happy ....this probably doesn't even make sense.... Sorry
BS (me) 45
WS (the idiot) 42
DD 1 Feb 20, 2012
Married 16 years /together 20
2 beautiful 8yr old twins (b/g) My reason for living
TT until March 2012
numerous BJ's and 1 Day at a hotel where he threw it all away!
ziganska ( member #41690) posted at 7:21 PM on Tuesday, February 4th, 2014
I hear you, SP66. I'm actually on Zoloft myself now and hate that it's come to this. Are you in therapy? Can you talk to your H about what you're going through so you two can come up with a plan of action? Maybe the two of you can even take some time off, even if it's just a weekend, and focus on your future and health? It's hard, I know. I feel hopeless and helpless and confused pretty much every second of the day but the only thing I want to be is happy. Not sure if I remember what happy is like anymore.
Stay strong.
Me: 42
Him: 49
DD: 12/2/2013
Married: 9 years but together for 15
Recovering, Reconciling, Rebuilding, Restoring
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 7:50 PM on Tuesday, February 4th, 2014
It sounds like you have much loss that you haven't been able to deal with outside of the infidelity. The loss of your house and the health scares are quite a bit. It sounds like the loss of your home might be a big part of things now. You might want to focus on that.
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