SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

brokenpinkribbon posted 2/4/2014 16:11 PM

I just found out my husband who had an affair with a 19 year old back in May 2013 has been talking on the phone again, telling her he still has the same feelings for her and doesn't regret what they had done.
I went away for a month to see my parents, and while I was away she rang him within the first week, why couldn't he have just told her to get lost and told her she was toxic for us as a family.
I had kept the affair a secret from everyone apart from a couple of friends, who have helped me through this very difficult time.
Well now my two beautiful daughters have had to find out as I asked him to move out, they are devastated. How can your husband do this to the people they are supposed to love. I'm so confused he tells the girls he loves me so much, is it for what I provide for him with cooking cleaning and providing a home that was nice to come home to? Is that all I am to a man whom I've been married to for 23 years? I had breast cancer two years ago for the second time, and had to have a double mastectomy. Just when I needed him most a year later he has an affair with a girl 26 years his junior.
I haven't stopped crying, he cry's on the phone to me and says that he is so sorry. How can he think that it is ok to lie to me yet again, he was the love of my life, he mustn't love me at all. I feel so so sad inside that my heart is shattered into a thousand pieces. Why can't they just tell you the truth and say I need to move on, you don't make me happy anymore, I would still be very upset, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with the lies and betrayal.

DD 8 May 2013
2nd
Was R...!
DD 2 February 2014
Me BS 47 yr
Him WS 46 yrs

tushnurse posted 2/4/2014 16:18 PM

(((BPR)))

I am so sorry that you had to return to us.
Please know that the pain he has caused you has nothing to do with you or the person you are. His inability to say the things you want or wish he could have said before continuing to lie are also because he is a very sad broken man.

He tells you he loves you because he is afraid. He does not understand what real love is. He is just starting to realize the damage he has caused, and don't you dare accept him back until his actions show you that he is doing the work to heal himself.

You are still young, and your are such a brave warrior, you deserve so much more. Stand up and be proud in the fact that you gave him the opportunity to make it right, and he failed. Stand up know that you will have a future that can be full and happy.

Go to a lawyer, have him served, and let your girls help you to stay strong. He does not deserve your love.

Keep reading, keep posting,

((((and strength))))

scarednbroken posted 2/4/2014 20:08 PM

(((((Brokenpinkribbon))))

This is what I can offer you. Just hugs and prayer. It is devastating to have to endure a weak man when you are so strong. Take care of you and your children.