I took a personal day today from work, six days after my world felt like it was ending. I've been hardly able to eat or sleep, just a shell of myself... took the day to read some books and write about how I'm feeling.
Six days ago, my husband admitted to me that he has been having an affair for almost 6 months of our 18 month marriage. To say I was shocked is an understatement, as I was really thinking things were going well between us.
He is totally broken and remorseful. Every day he apologizes and tells me that this was not anything I caused in any way, that he made a huge mistake. He has done the NC thing with this girl, and tells me he's committed to NC. AT ALL.
Today he told me he found a MC. I told him I wouldn't stay if he didn't. He seems to be taking all the steps and seems to genuinely regret the way that he has crushed me.
I find myself wanting his affection. I want him to hold my hand and hug me, I want his attention. It feels so wrong to want this from him after he's wronged me so severely. I almost just want to know if I still "have it". If I can still get his attention and affection...
Is it too early to be hopeful? I feel like I'm on such a rollercoaster right now, and I'm reeling.