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deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 5:47 PM on Wednesday, February 5th, 2014
Last night, after much anguish, I laid it out that I really don't know if I can go on. I think he had felt that we would recover for sure. I go back and forth and he has been trying, but I wasn't sure it was enough. I struggle with the whys and trusting him. When I told him this, he got ill and cried and sunk into a depressed state. He said he was losing his motivation to even get up. With tear filled eyes, he asked if I want to stay or leave. He hadn't realized my fight was basically gone. Did this finally sink in or what?
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 6:50 PM on Wednesday, February 5th, 2014
It's hard to say. It may be a start.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 6:56 PM on Wednesday, February 5th, 2014
You will tell if he finally got it when his actions are enough for you. Sorry I can't give a more perfect benchmark, but when the actions start really being there, you'll feel it.
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Morhurt ( member #40166) posted at 7:14 PM on Wednesday, February 5th, 2014
My H got "depressed" about two months in, he still hadn't really gotten it, I think he was in part feeling sorry for himself. It wasn't true depression and only lasted a few days (until I kicked him onto the couch and he read some responses to my SI post on the matter). It's a process, a long and slow process, hopefully this is a step in the right direction but I doubt it's a final "A-HA" moment.
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 8:12 PM on Wednesday, February 5th, 2014
So was he in a fog? Or had he just not fully understood ? He has given me transparency and been great, but it was me holding back. I am so confused. Was it false R or just steps in the process? Sorry scatter brain here.
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 9:46 PM on Wednesday, February 5th, 2014
You actually don't hear a WS wake up.
You see it.
Consistent, repetetive, supporting, loving, working actions.
It takes a long time to know and see the truth.
It doesn't happen over a conversation.
(((hugs)))
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
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