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Newest Member: IIdiot (58906)

User Topic: Does this sound like he woke up? WS welcome
deena04
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night, after much anguish, I laid it out that I really don't know if I can go on. I think he had felt that we would recover for sure. I go back and forth and he has been trying, but I wasn't sure it was enough. I struggle with the whys and trusting him. When I told him this, he got ill and cried and sunk into a depressed state. He said he was losing his motivation to even get up. With tear filled eyes, he asked if I want to stay or leave. He hadn't realized my fight was basically gone. Did this finally sink in or what?


Me FBS around 40
Him FWS early 40s (lovemywife4ever)
He cheated before M, forgot to tell me
"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last" - MLK Jr

Posts: 2077 | Registered: Dec 2013
steadfast1973
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's hard to say. It may be a start.


Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Kentucky
Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You will tell if he finally got it when his actions are enough for you. Sorry I can't give a more perfect benchmark, but when the actions start really being there, you'll feel it.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 7991 | Registered: Jan 2011
Morhurt
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H got "depressed" about two months in, he still hadn't really gotten it, I think he was in part feeling sorry for himself. It wasn't true depression and only lasted a few days (until I kicked him onto the couch and he read some responses to my SI post on the matter). It's a process, a long and slow process, hopefully this is a step in the right direction but I doubt it's a final "A-HA" moment.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 1127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
deena04
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So was he in a fog? Or had he just not fully understood ? He has given me transparency and been great, but it was me holding back. I am so confused. Was it false R or just steps in the process? Sorry scatter brain here.


Me FBS around 40
Him FWS early 40s (lovemywife4ever)
He cheated before M, forgot to tell me
"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last" - MLK Jr

Posts: 2077 | Registered: Dec 2013
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You actually don't hear a WS wake up.

You see it.

Consistent, repetetive, supporting, loving, working actions.

It takes a long time to know and see the truth.

It doesn't happen over a conversation.

(((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 4011 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 6

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