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Does this sound like he woke up? WS welcome

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deena04 posted 2/5/2014 11:47 AM

Last night, after much anguish, I laid it out that I really don't know if I can go on. I think he had felt that we would recover for sure. I go back and forth and he has been trying, but I wasn't sure it was enough. I struggle with the whys and trusting him. When I told him this, he got ill and cried and sunk into a depressed state. He said he was losing his motivation to even get up. With tear filled eyes, he asked if I want to stay or leave. He hadn't realized my fight was basically gone. Did this finally sink in or what?

steadfast1973 posted 2/5/2014 12:50 PM

It's hard to say. It may be a start.

Rebreather posted 2/5/2014 12:56 PM

You will tell if he finally got it when his actions are enough for you. Sorry I can't give a more perfect benchmark, but when the actions start really being there, you'll feel it.

Morhurt posted 2/5/2014 13:14 PM

My H got "depressed" about two months in, he still hadn't really gotten it, I think he was in part feeling sorry for himself. It wasn't true depression and only lasted a few days (until I kicked him onto the couch and he read some responses to my SI post on the matter). It's a process, a long and slow process, hopefully this is a step in the right direction but I doubt it's a final "A-HA" moment.

deena04 posted 2/5/2014 14:12 PM

So was he in a fog? Or had he just not fully understood ? He has given me transparency and been great, but it was me holding back. I am so confused. Was it false R or just steps in the process? Sorry scatter brain here.

karmahappens posted 2/5/2014 15:46 PM

You actually don't hear a WS wake up.

You see it.

Consistent, repetetive, supporting, loving, working actions.

It takes a long time to know and see the truth.

It doesn't happen over a conversation.


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