I really liked this book. Same author as After the Affair. It says that forgiveness should be earned, not the responsibility of the better person.
It goes into what a real apology looks like. What a person needs to do to show they are really sorry. It also talks about how you can have acceptance without forgiveness, and that lets you get rid of the negativity and anger, without giving someone undeserved forgiveness.
I would recommend it if you are dealing with anger re the affair and divorce, or even r, I guess.
I liked that it puts the responsiblity back on the person who did wrong. I am sick of people telling me I have to forgive, because I believe I have to accept and move on but some things are simply unforgivable.