[This message edited by EB1541 at 12:38 AM, February 8th (Saturday)]
"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person
I know you are crushed--trust me, we all do. But the MOST important thing right now is your physical well-being. Please be sure to get the nutrients your body needs to get and stay healthy; if you need to get a good quality protein supplement, please look into that. Also talk with your doctor about vitamin/mineral supplements. (Do check with the oncologist; some supplements can promote tumor growth, and you DON'T want that. Speaking of which, while melatonin is often recommended as a natural sleep aid---and your sleep is likely interrupted now--please ask before using it; there is evidence that it promotes the growth of certain estrogen-dependent tumors.)
Eating, drinking, sleeping, exercising all seem elusive in the early days. But your body really, REALLY needs this TLC.
That he did this to you when you were your most vulnerable is unconscionable. He has some serious, serious work to do. And it's not enough to say, "I was so scared!" Because what kind of man, when facing the potential loss of his wife, throws her and his marriage away?
The emotional rollercoaster is awful.If your husband is being truthful, though, and has stopped ALL contact with the AP, you will find, with time, that your sense of security increases incrementally.
Millions of hugs to you.
Sending you strength and peace. It's not fair to be in this situation.
You are stronger than you know. You will be okay. Keep posting. This is a great place with many caring people. We will lift you up when you cant find the strength.
You are stronger than you know. You found your way here and are reaching out.
We are here for you...but I know from experience, they have a way of really helping in a way that is unique to each of us. I am so sorry you are going through this. Is just is not fair.
And be prepared to find out that he's lying about the extent of his involvement with the OW. Because people don't start an EA to just pal around.
What is he doing to support you? What is he doing to get to the bottom of why, in your worse hours, he decided to run away and became a jackass? Is he in IC? He should be.
And what of the OW? Does she have a partner? If so, you should let her BH/BP know what she did ASAP, without telling your WH. This is both consequences for her screwing your WH KNOWING you and your condition, and it's giving her BS the chance to make a decision if he wants to be in a relationship with someone who has betrayed him. And, if your WH and OW are still in contact, and believe me, lying waywards will swear on the heads of their children, their hope of salvation, and the immortal souls of their parents that they have cut off contact when they are actually still seeing each other, outing the OW is a sure way to have your WH thrown under the bus as she tries to save her relationship.
Frankly, I would also go to a lawyer and find out exactly, what your legal rights are, if you decide to separate or divorce. You need do nothing with this knowledge right now, but knowing exactly what is likely to happen, child support and money-wise, is valuable.
Keep coming back to us for support. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I am so sorry you are hurting right now.
am so lonely no one understands, and no one can help.
I know you feel alone. Please know that there are thousands of us, who would love to hold your hand through this. You really are not alone.