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User
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Topic: Poofer resurfaces
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Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870 |  Posted: 10:28 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 |     |
The backstory is that I slept with this guy for a year. Looking back, it was apparently nothing more than a fuckbuddy situation.
He rolled out of my bed on December 14th, gave me a kiss, and went to work. I have heard nothing from him since, even though I texted him a few times.
Last night, at midnight, I received the following text:
I apologize for shutting you out. Holidays and birthday are too much. I should have mentioned but I did not. Also please find it to forgive me - I didn't want to but couldn't get it together.
Is this text a poor try for booty?
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7930 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA |
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460 | | Posted: 10:34 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Sounds like a 12-Step Program apology to me.
NEXT! (right after crickets)
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!
Posts: 21160 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back |
risingfromashes
♀ 3903
Member # 3903 | | Posted: 10:43 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Imo yes
There is a wonderful life on the other side of hell.
Posts: 1763 | Registered: Mar 2004 |
lostandhopless
♂ 41568
Member # 41568 | | Posted: 11:09 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Yep, You might want to borrow some "Super cricket powers".
Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....
Divorced 6/13/14
Posts: 121 | Registered: Dec 2013 |
shiloe
♀ 1224
Member # 1224 | | Posted: 11:11 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Crickets or
Sorry, who is this? 
But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 55
Cheater -55
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. D'ing
Posts: 697 | Registered: Mar 2003 |
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964 | | Posted: 11:36 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Wow.
Yeah crickets. Ignoring someone is the most cutting thing you can do.
"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott
Posts: 3261 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico |
Sparkles
♀ 39901
Member # 39901 | | Posted: 11:40 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
I guess its nice that he apologized, but... it doesn't sound/feel sincere to me. It's all about him, baby! Maybe AJsmom is correct? Or its a poor try for booty.
Posts: 138 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: NW |
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882 | | Posted: 12:20 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
I don't know how I would take that. I guess I would at least be glad he apologized. I would have been so unbelievable hurt by his diappearance that I don't know that, if he is even sincere, I could accept his apology. I think the damage would be done. I mean, a YEAR together. I know you said this in my poofer post, but really, WHO DOES THAT??
me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC
Divorced 1/17/2013
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."
Posts: 2634 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA |
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870 | | Posted: 12:21 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
I don't think its a 12 step thing. He is a diabetic, so he doesn't drink.
However, he is a counselor IRL, so he knows the correct process for doing the right thing to people that you've wronged.
I still vote for late night booty.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7930 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA |
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457 | | Posted: 12:42 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
NEXT!!! I don't think so dude!!! This booty ain't for sale! 
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
Posts: 2741 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia |
Rainbows
♀ 39362
Member # 39362 | | Posted: 12:57 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
At that time and out of the blue, it most likely was an attempt for some booty or sexy times talk. 
I think if you enjoyed the booty and are able to take the situation as that, then why not.
If you are likely to get attached, then I'd avoid because he seems to have some issues and proceed with caution flags. He's already shown you some things by his behavior so be protective of your emotions.
You're driving the bus on this one. Once you decide what you want, let him know it's your rules.
There is always a rainbow after every storm.
Posts: 415 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California |
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346 | | Posted: 2:04 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
OK..I'm in the minority here…
But, I would probably tell him how you feel, "Your behavior hurt me" and see how he responds. I don't mind giving a second chance to someone who is trying to figure their shit out…but with the caveat that I'm on "full alert" to see if the behavior has actually changed.
I've not been perfect when trying to date either… just food for thought. Do what feels right for you.
me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced
Posts: 4366 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South |
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150 | | Posted: 2:14 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
I would give him back exactly what he gave you for the last couple of months... Fair is fair.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Posts: 17970 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada |
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870 | | Posted: 2:33 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
It's been almost 8 weeks. What I really want to do is sleep with him and THEN punch him in the nuts. 
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7930 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA |
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882 | | Posted: 2:37 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
What I really want to do is sleep with him and THEN punch him in the nuts.
LMAO!!!
You would be within your rights to do so! lol
me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC
Divorced 1/17/2013
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."
Posts: 2634 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA |
thyme2go
♂ 12908
Member # 12908 | | Posted: 3:29 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Do you like him?
BH - no longer 49
3 DD's - (29, 25 and 18)
Divorced on 8/6/09
Posts: 9203 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington |
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870 | | Posted: 3:33 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
I liked him a lot. His poofing hurt me.
I don't want to set myself up to get hurt again, but I can't shield my heart forever.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7930 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA |
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928 | | Posted: 3:37 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
A text at midnight?
Smacks of booty call to me.
NEXT!!! (And crickets...after you nut punch him).
Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done
XWH#1 (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs
DD(21), DS(19, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids - 3 dogs, 2 cats
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Posts: 6884 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California |
Tripletrouble
♀ 39169
Member # 39169 | | Posted: 3:52 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Two thoughts here:
1. The apology was not poetic but it is an apology. I have done some things in my life I needed to apologize for later - not to clear my conscience but because it's the right thing to do. There are some people that owe me some big fat apologies that I will never get. So I think it's ok that he did.
2. The timing made me laugh - my first thought was not booty call but...ambien. Did he ever take sleeping pills that you know of? Maybe he was just sleepless and wanted to set things right.
I think whatever suits your own head and heart here is right. If you want to ignore, or tell him straight up how hurtful it was, or throw one to yourself for the road and then poof yourself, these are all viable options.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
Posts: 650 | Registered: May 2013 |
movingforward13
♀ 38405
Member # 38405 | | Posted: 4:33 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014 | |
Sounds like to me he was dealing with someone else and it didn't work out... 8 weeks is a good amount of time for infatuation to break apart. Please don't believe he was alone----
As the saying goes, "Please believe that when your side of the conversation is getting shorter, it is getting longer for someone else."
If I were you, I would crickets.... He doesn't deserve your time--- you don't deserve his shit.
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
Posts: 645 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC |
| Topic Posts: 35 | |
