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New Beginnings :
Poofer resurfaces

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 Williesmom (original poster member #22870) posted at 4:28 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

The backstory is that I slept with this guy for a year. Looking back, it was apparently nothing more than a fuckbuddy situation.

He rolled out of my bed on December 14th, gave me a kiss, and went to work. I have heard nothing from him since, even though I texted him a few times.

Last night, at midnight, I received the following text:

I apologize for shutting you out. Holidays and birthday are too much. I should have mentioned but I did not. Also please find it to forgive me - I didn't want to but couldn't get it together.

Is this text a poor try for booty?

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6673654
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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 4:34 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Sounds like a 12-Step Program apology to me.

NEXT! (right after crickets)

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 6673666
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risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 4:43 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Imo yes

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6673682
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lostandhopless ( member #41568) posted at 5:09 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Yep, You might want to borrow some "Super cricket powers".

Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....

Divorced 6/13/14

posts: 144   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2013
id 6673731
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shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 5:11 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Crickets or

Sorry, who is this?

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17

posts: 1729   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2003
id 6673733
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cayc ( member #21964) posted at 5:36 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Wow.

Yeah crickets. Ignoring someone is the most cutting thing you can do.

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Mexico
id 6673773
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Sparkles ( member #39901) posted at 5:40 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

I guess its nice that he apologized, but... it doesn't sound/feel sincere to me. It's all about him, baby! Maybe AJsmom is correct? Or its a poor try for booty.

posts: 138   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: NW
id 6673783
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nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 6:20 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

I don't know how I would take that. I guess I would at least be glad he apologized. I would have been so unbelievable hurt by his diappearance that I don't know that, if he is even sincere, I could accept his apology. I think the damage would be done. I mean, a YEAR together. I know you said this in my poofer post, but really, WHO DOES THAT??

Me - happy!
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

posts: 4401   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2011   ·   location: MA
id 6673845
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 Williesmom (original poster member #22870) posted at 6:21 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

I don't think its a 12 step thing. He is a diabetic, so he doesn't drink.

However, he is a counselor IRL, so he knows the correct process for doing the right thing to people that you've wronged.

I still vote for late night booty.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6673849
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She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 6:42 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

NEXT!!! I don't think so dude!!! This booty ain't for sale!

"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12

posts: 2767   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Virginia
id 6673881
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Rainbows ( member #39362) posted at 6:57 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

At that time and out of the blue, it most likely was an attempt for some booty or sexy times talk.

I think if you enjoyed the booty and are able to take the situation as that, then why not.

If you are likely to get attached, then I'd avoid because he seems to have some issues and proceed with caution flags. He's already shown you some things by his behavior so be protective of your emotions.

You're driving the bus on this one. Once you decide what you want, let him know it's your rules.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

posts: 415   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2013   ·   location: California
id 6673904
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 8:04 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

OK..I'm in the minority here…

But, I would probably tell him how you feel, "Your behavior hurt me" and see how he responds. I don't mind giving a second chance to someone who is trying to figure their shit out…but with the caveat that I'm on "full alert" to see if the behavior has actually changed.

I've not been perfect when trying to date either… just food for thought. Do what feels right for you.

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6674007
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 8:14 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

I would give him back exactly what he gave you for the last couple of months... Fair is fair.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21593   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6674022
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 Williesmom (original poster member #22870) posted at 8:33 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

It's been almost 8 weeks. What I really want to do is sleep with him and THEN punch him in the nuts.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6674048
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nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 8:37 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

What I really want to do is sleep with him and THEN punch him in the nuts.

LMAO!!!

You would be within your rights to do so! lol

Me - happy!
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

posts: 4401   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2011   ·   location: MA
id 6674057
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thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 9:29 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Do you like him?

BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09

posts: 9204   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2006   ·   location: ND
id 6674129
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 Williesmom (original poster member #22870) posted at 9:33 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

I liked him a lot. His poofing hurt me.

I don't want to set myself up to get hurt again, but I can't shield my heart forever.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6674138
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 9:37 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

A text at midnight?

Smacks of booty call to me.

NEXT!!! (And crickets...after you nut punch him).

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6674141
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Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 9:52 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Two thoughts here:

1. The apology was not poetic but it is an apology. I have done some things in my life I needed to apologize for later - not to clear my conscience but because it's the right thing to do. There are some people that owe me some big fat apologies that I will never get. So I think it's ok that he did.

2. The timing made me laugh - my first thought was not booty call but...ambien. Did he ever take sleeping pills that you know of? Maybe he was just sleepless and wanted to set things right.

I think whatever suits your own head and heart here is right. If you want to ignore, or tell him straight up how hurtful it was, or throw one to yourself for the road and then poof yourself, these are all viable options.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6674168
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movingforward13 ( member #38405) posted at 10:33 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Sounds like to me he was dealing with someone else and it didn't work out... 8 weeks is a good amount of time for infatuation to break apart. Please don't believe he was alone----

As the saying goes, "Please believe that when your side of the conversation is getting shorter, it is getting longer for someone else."

If I were you, I would crickets.... He doesn't deserve your time--- you don't deserve his shit.

Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

posts: 683   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2013   ·   location: DC
id 6674236
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