SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

How to handle?

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

fireproof posted 2/6/2014 12:05 PM

For the past week or so I realize what a huge mountain I have to climb and just feeling sad.

I am in my NB but I think I resent I have to be doing this. Maybe it is because I am starting over my career and starting off with less than I did in college.

I was always financially stable even in my first job but now it is like is there anyway I can make more?

I also took a lower position and I guess I miss a lot of my old life.

Tough day! How can it be better when I had a pretty great life?

nowiknow23 posted 2/6/2014 12:20 PM

Comparison is death to happiness, in my experience. If I start down the path of comparing how much more money I had when I was married, how much nicer my house was, how much more engaged and successful I was with my career, everything I have NOW would be graded against a faulty, nostalgic curve.

I make a conscious effort every day to practice gratitude. Some days I'm more successful on that front than others. But even on those days when I have to scratch for the gratitude, I am reminded of the richness of blessings in my life. I have a roof over my head, I have a steady job, I have food on my table, I have children I love who love me back...

Newlease posted 2/6/2014 13:10 PM

I agree with NIK - gratitude for all you have, not for what you lost.

Fortunately???? even though the income doubled when I was married, the debt did too. So really financially I'm no worse off than I was when I was married. The bad thing about right now is that while the price of goods and services have gone up, my salary has remained stagnant. I am 2 years away from being able to retire from this job, so I'm hanging on until then. Maybe I can find some work satisfaction and additional income at that time.

But in the meantime - I am so much better off than many people. Thankful for my health, shelter, food to eat, people I love and people who love me. Oh - and my job that helps pay for some of those other things.

NL

fireproof posted 2/6/2014 17:36 PM

Thank you. I needed to read this. I always try to practice gratefulness but it has been a difficult week.

I wanted the family for my child and soon I will face the judgement of those who hurt me.

It is a hard pill. I would never want Karma after my ex but it is hard to realize maybe I was the wrong one going through rebuilding when he has a new instant family.

I know it isn't based on reality but it still is hard. I trusted him close to 20 years. You wonder about your judgement.

I should be grateful as I have seen people pass so I am. It is to such a degree I almost feel worse that this is so hard for me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.