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fireproof (original poster member #36126) posted at 6:05 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014
For the past week or so I realize what a huge mountain I have to climb and just feeling sad.
I am in my NB but I think I resent I have to be doing this. Maybe it is because I am starting over my career and starting off with less than I did in college.
I was always financially stable even in my first job but now it is like is there anyway I can make more?
I also took a lower position and I guess I miss a lot of my old life.
Tough day! How can it be better when I had a pretty great life?
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:20 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014
Comparison is death to happiness, in my experience. If I start down the path of comparing how much more money I had when I was married, how much nicer my house was, how much more engaged and successful I was with my career, everything I have NOW would be graded against a faulty, nostalgic curve.
I make a conscious effort every day to practice gratitude. Some days I'm more successful on that front than others. But even on those days when I have to scratch for the gratitude, I am reminded of the richness of blessings in my life. I have a roof over my head, I have a steady job, I have food on my table, I have children I love who love me back...
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 7:10 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014
I agree with NIK - gratitude for all you have, not for what you lost.
Fortunately???? even though the income doubled when I was married, the debt did too. So really financially I'm no worse off than I was when I was married. The bad thing about right now is that while the price of goods and services have gone up, my salary has remained stagnant. I am 2 years away from being able to retire from this job, so I'm hanging on until then. Maybe I can find some work satisfaction and additional income at that time.
But in the meantime - I am so much better off than many people. Thankful for my health, shelter, food to eat, people I love and people who love me. Oh - and my job that helps pay for some of those other things. 
NL
Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.
fireproof (original poster member #36126) posted at 11:36 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014
Thank you. I needed to read this. I always try to practice gratefulness but it has been a difficult week.
I wanted the family for my child and soon I will face the judgement of those who hurt me.
It is a hard pill. I would never want Karma after my ex but it is hard to realize maybe I was the wrong one going through rebuilding when he has a new instant family.
I know it isn't based on reality but it still is hard. I trusted him close to 20 years. You wonder about your judgement. 
I should be grateful as I have seen people pass so I am. It is to such a degree I almost feel worse that this is so hard for me.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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