his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
I can't live in the moment yet. I was reading a book on it - maybe The Power of Now or something - the day before I hired a PI to follow my husband. I said to myself it was the last time I would spy on him again. Of course, I caught him with another woman. But anyway, there was a passage that read, "you are ok, nothing bad it happening to you right now." when in fact, it was and I was crying as I read it because there was something going on in my life but I didnt' know what.
That's why I can't trust living in the now. I can trust living in the now with everything about my life EXCEPT my marriage, and I have a good life. that part is ok and may be enough for me.
but with my romantic relationship - I need stability, security, trust, etc.
And living in the now when you're married to a really good liar, well, it's very difficult.
I commend those than can.
[This message edited by rachelc at 6:03 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”