Instead I get flowers. Pointless, meaningless flowers.
It depends on what is important for you.
In this home FWH constantly brings me flowers. The reason for this is due to one of my dealbreakers I gave him soon after DDay.
I told him I needed him to make sure that he NEVER forgot about me and would not stop focussing on me an I said that one way he could action this in a way that I could see it was to always remember to bring me flowers.
Before DDay I got the guilt flowers and the valentine's flowers but never any "Hey, I thought about you so I bought you flowers!" flowers whic is why he does so now.
He never forgets and my home always has fresh flowers in it.
Another thing we both agreed to do after we decided to R was that we both decided that intimacy was lost as we never went to bed at the same time. The MC picked up on this and said it is one of the biggest ways couples are able to actively avoid each other using a non-aggressive cue.
She told us that we had to make a promise to go to bed at the same time together even if one of us wasn't tired in order to stay connected and stay close to each other.
So this is what we do.
If FWH is tired then I will go on my iPad and mess about on here or Google or whichever website is selling the latest fashion items!!
If I amm tired FWH will probably put the TV on low and watch a film or a documentary.
But- we BOTH agree that being able to go to bed together and hug each other has made a vast difference to us as it has kept us close.
This hit home recently when a couple we know S. The W stated she had begged her H for years to go to bed with her but he always stayed up til gone 1 am and she only recently found out it was because he wanted to stay up; watch porn and get his rocks off! Like she said- how insulting... there she was begging him to be intimate with her yet, unbeknowns to her, he was detaching by his use of porn.
I guess what I am saying is that, if your FWH went to bed at a decent time he would be able to get up with you and help out with your children.
There's only one exception to this rule but I can tell from here you ain't married to no Mufasa!!
Dad...dad....wake up daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
Your son is awake!
Before sunrise he is YOUR son!
But even then Mufasa knew enough about ladycats that he got his ass out of bed to tend to his son!
[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 7:55 AM, February 7th (Friday)]