[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 8:06 AM, February 7th (Friday)]
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
I found I would cuddle with my dogs. Yup lay on the floor between my Dane, and my Golden, get in a big ole puppy pile. Best antidepressant ever.
Also, if someone asked me the best thing about my husband I would also answer how perfectly I fit in his arms and that he is a human furnace too! Just 10 minutes ago I thought this!!
But, many times during the last years I 've needed touch. I purposely get lots of massages, manis and pedis, facials, whatever - just so I can be touched. IT has been very important in my healing, especially the nurturing touch of another female.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Relax, everything’s out of control” – Adi Da Samraj
He has passed since, and my new cat, will only lay by me when I am asleep. She certainly does not enjoy being cuddled. She is 110% Cat. The little snot makes me so mad, all I want to do is cuddle her, she has the silkiest fur of any animal I have ever owned.
[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 10:56 AM, February 7th (Friday)]
Mainly I stay for the kids. But I think it because I'm a fudging moron who believes him every single time he makes promises.
I am healed and happy, but I am different now, stronger, more independent, and while I enjoy his hugs, and comfort, I also don't rely on it. I pull my strength from within. Even with a spouse that does all the right things, I think we as BS's too heal, change, and feel differently.
While there are times of upset, and feeling the need to be comforted because of things that happen in life, I also know that I can survive without it.
Does that make sense? I am a touchy feely person too. But I guess I get enough of that from other people, places, and things (animals) that I don't rely on spouse to provide it.
I'm rambling here, struggling for the right words.....
I understand. One of my love language is physical touch. Like you, I want to be held, I want to feel loved. It's hard, I don't want my WH is touch me, at all. I try to love myself more everyday. It is hard, I know.