What if he cheats again
What if he loves her
What if I can't do this...
Always living in the negative world of what the future may or not bring.
It was a waste of time and brought additional pain I didn't need to carry.
I began to switch my thinking and live my truth, my "what is"
What is true today is we have R'd. Whatever the future holds for us I will never know and I don't dwell on it. I know my truths, my what is...
I have a happy marriage today. We communicate, we trust we have fun and we love.
We work together through differences and support each other in our own personal growth.
I can take care of myself, I am a strong person, have made myself financially stable and able to be independant.
I will always be ok and I live with what is on my plate right now.
Sometimes I falter and worry about what will be. My kids futures, my grand-child.
When I do this and recognize it I go to my husband and we talk about it. I am always amazed at his ability to bring me back to the truths and what we have in front of us.
it's the only thing that is real.
The past is gone, I am living today and whatever tomorrow brings I know I am capable of living with what is...
Try it, let the what ifs go and live with your truth and what you have right in this moment. Everything may not be perfect, but you can work on what is in your control and navigate when the only thing on your plate is today.
I am slowly changing my mindset. My therapist to deal with anxiety told me when a negative thought happens, to take a second, recognize it and say, is this just a thought and what benefit to me will it have, then let it go away. I have been able to do it maybe 50% of the time, but I'm improving every day.
Thanks for this post, I need these little goals to get out of the funk.
[This message edited by alifeforesaken at 12:28 PM, February 7th (Friday)]
me (WW/BS): 48 him: (BS/WH)52 4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”
Thanks for the reminder!
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
I still feel my hand is gripping on as hard as it can to stay safe from hurt.
No matter where we end up after an A, S/D or R, you can never be safe enough to avoid hurt.
If you make yourself safe against being hurt what you are really doing is removing the true ability to love and be loved. Being vulnerable is such a big part.
It does take time. Protecting your heart until your WS is able to be trusted with it again isn't a bad thing, but when it's time to let go you need to, to fully heal and have a marriage based on truth, trust, love and respect.
(((hugs)))
[This message edited by karmahappens at 1:07 PM, February 7th (Friday)]
Thank you karmahappens :)
If You Want to Be Sad, Live in the Past. If You Want to Be Anxious, Live in the Future. If You Want to Be Peaceful, Live in the Now.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson "She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
[This message edited by demonshide at 10:06 AM, February 17th (Monday)]
Perfect SMS, so true!!
Thank you.
