I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!
Honestly. It does get better. You'll learn what is likely to trigger you and start building calluses and/or learn how to deflect, bit by bit. That will smooth out the ride. You'll still get caught by unexpected things, but the sharp up and downs will flatten out.
And your comment about finding nothing new but seeing it in B&W is exactly why I, for one, say that a BS needs a timeline to really start healing. You may "know" it date-wise, but the impact of visually seeing the actual proof, the actual dates, frequency, etc., while it can take you to your knees, can also lance that wound and allow it to sink in, be acknowledged, and start to build healthy tissue over the wound. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA
??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys
I wish you luck with R and know that it really does get easier with time.