I have a hard time with valentines, anniversaries, birthday, and Christmas. All of those days for several years were not "sacred" to my WH. He would call his OWs on those days even tho they should be for us and family.
How have I handled it? Badly. But he doesn't care. He just says I'm behaving like a spoiled brat. In past years I would say that I am suffering from bad memories of what he did on those days. Since if have decided he isn't going to change or improve.... I try to swallow it all and work my way through it. Usually ending the day with a migraine. This year I am seeing my L two days before valentines. Apt huh?
WH expects a card and gift. I do know if I don't get the "right" card he will be angry all day. Idk if he will get me anything but I never think it is truly from his heart because... He usually txt ow and tells her how much he would rather be with her...
If your WW wants R and is truly doing the work. I would think just talking out your feelings with her would help?? It's almost like PTSD. In that those days are associated with a negative traumatic event. It should be her job to make them happy events. To replace your bad memories with good. She ruined those days for you. You didn't.