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I am crushed

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huskers posted 2/8/2014 13:05 PM

Been talking about R. I made him leave a few weeks ago after D. Today got phone bill. He has been calling and texting nonstop. We had dinner Thursday about R. He was calling her as I can see it on the phone bill. Of course that doesn't tell me what he has been doing, but we all know he has been with her. I am devastated. I want to call and let the ahole have it. I did text and ask if he had any intention of letting his children know where he lives. He has never told me or them. That is what my reaction to this was....just so he would text me back. Help me please. I am so angry.

kellys2014 posted 2/8/2014 13:40 PM

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wish all of us with normal consciences and hearts could apologize enough for these totally horrible assholes that we put our trust in. I don't understand why they KEEP lying. You've been caught, asshole! Fess up! If you don't want to reconcile, why continue with the charade? How can someone hurt another person (not to mention the children) and not have their reaction give them pause? It does makes me feel better to know that there are a lot of normal, trustworthy spouses on this board.

My WS is living elsewhere (as of last Wednesday) and has suggested he'd like to come back and seems very remorseful. But I just can't believe him, and posts like yours are is why. If they can carry on like this behind our backs, who is to say they won't keep doing it? THEY HAVE NO SHAME. I'm afraid mine has just gone underground with his sexting relationship w/former PA (and family friend) or has only ended it because she has. (She e-mailed me and claims to be beyond ashamed, never meant to hurt anyone, very sorry, blah, blah, blah.)

I'm going to not let this occur to him, but am waiting for next month's phone bill. I don't think he's thought of it. I want to see with my own eyes whether he called her or texted her after D-Day. He says NC, I'm going to verify before agreeing to R.

I'm so deeply sorry this is happening to you and to all of us. I wish herpes on them all.

huskers posted 2/8/2014 14:01 PM

So what do I do? No contact shut him off.

[This message edited by huskers at 5:17 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]

Pippy posted 2/8/2014 14:04 PM

Wanting to contact him is one of the stages of grieving. Bargaining. You are hoping you can talk him out of this. You won't and then you will only be more hurt. NC = no new pain. Keep all contact only about kids and finances.

BTW I know how stupid it seems when they won't give you their address. It's been almost 8 years D for me and he's been living with OW since right after D-Day, but still won't reveal his address 3000 miles away! Who cares! The Support order people keep asking me when he defaults and can't believe I don't know. Like I said....who cares!

huskers posted 2/8/2014 14:22 PM

Thank you! You are right! No contact means no new pain. Now he just texted me that he knows I tried to get wireless password. I actually got it for the bill and saw the info. . But no contact. I will not reply

Pippy posted 2/9/2014 09:48 AM

Yayyyy for you! You have just taken a GIANT step forward to surviving this nightmare. I know peace seems a long way off but I promise you, it does get easier with time. Good for you!!!

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