My husband has cheated on me with a woman he has known for years.
A little back story:
We got married in mid December of last year. I am almost 35 weeks pregnant with our first child. He had been dragging his feet a bit about marriage, and I told him several times that we could just NOT get married and co-parent our little girl without drama. He insisted that he wanted to be a family, and in December we "ran off" to Hawaii and got hitched. Just the two of us.
I travel for work, so after we returned I had to go straight back on another plane and was gone for four days. I returned, and everything seemed to be fine and continued as normal.
Last week, something came over me, and I decided to look at his emails. he always left his mail open so I didn't have to do any detective work. I didn't expect to find anything, but was drawn to an innocent looking chat he was having with this old friend. I kept reading, and found out they'd slept together about a month before we got married, and twice THE SAME DAY we came back from getting married!
Initially, I kicked him out of the house. I was heading to my midwife appointment and he asked if he could please be there. We went to the appointment and I started to feel an overwhelming urge to "reclaim" my husband, to put it mildly. We went back to his hotel and slept together, and have slept together several times since. I am still so angry and haven't forgiven him. Still snooping around in his emails and looking over his shoulder when he's texting. I just can't understand why I've been so willing to give my body to someone who had no regard for me. I feel shame for letting him back in so easily.
Has anyone else been through this? We are both going to counseling in a few days, and I am hoping we can get some answers, but I just need to spill my guts and just can't wait for our counseling session to let this out!