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Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?

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shortchanged38 posted 2/9/2014 22:16 PM

Who experienced hysterical bonding (HB) and who didn't.

I want to have a gauge of how many of us BS go through HB.

Please participate so we can all have an idea.

Please one response per person so survey doesn't get sidelined with discussion.

The survey question is---

Have you experienced HB after DDay?

I'll start : NO

[This message edited by shortchanged38 at 1:22 PM, February 10th (Monday)]

shortchanged38 posted 2/9/2014 22:20 PM

Here is the healing library discussion on HB.

Upon being confronted with the undeniable reality that their most trusted spouse has betrayed them with another, some BS's experience an overwhelming sexual desire for their wayward spouse. Many couples claim to have had the best, most intense and loving sex of their relationship during the period following the discovery of an affair, (generally a few weeks to several months), often trying new things and experimenting in ways they had never considered before. This phenomenon is termed "Hysterical Bonding.
There is very little information on this phenomenon, but it appears to be a primal, instinctual way for the partners to reconnect and reclaim each other. While it may feel counter-intuitive to the BS; as if they are "rewarding" the WS for the affair, hysterical bonding can be a stepping stone to reconciliation. The intimacy encourages communication and a closeness that may otherwise take some time to re-build.

The occurrence or absence of hysterical bonding does not appear to be an indicator of successful reconciliation. Many other factors, such as the WS's remorse and openness are far more reliable indicators. Hysterical bonding is, however, normal, and nothing for the BS to be alarmed about or ashamed about experiencing. In fact, it has been said it is the one positive in an otherwise long and miserable experience, so enjoy it while it lasts!

4everfaithful83 posted 2/9/2014 22:23 PM


lostandhopless posted 2/9/2014 22:25 PM


kayaker55 posted 2/9/2014 22:28 PM

DD #1: YES
DD #2: NO

BW2639 posted 2/9/2014 22:29 PM

Yes. ...lasted a couple of months.

Lifechange posted 2/9/2014 22:34 PM


Can't remember exactly how long it lasted, but quite a while. Probably at least a year or more.

hpv50 posted 2/9/2014 22:42 PM

Yep! The HB lasted around two months for us, where we fought practically all day, and then HB'd each night.

scarednbroken posted 2/9/2014 23:18 PM

DDay 1 - yes

DDay 2-15 - no

Gotmegood posted 2/9/2014 23:24 PM

Yes, briefly.

Gotmegood posted 2/9/2014 23:24 PM

Yes, briefly.

yoyoed2death posted 2/9/2014 23:25 PM


DrivingPast posted 2/9/2014 23:35 PM


doggiediva posted 2/9/2014 23:38 PM

No with a capitol N..My WH was too much of a douchebag..

totalheartbreak posted 2/9/2014 23:41 PM

Yes, few months

BrokenMomof2 posted 2/9/2014 23:41 PM

Yes, lasted about a month and a half for me.

strangeasfiction posted 2/9/2014 23:43 PM

Six weeks in. Nope.

headdesk posted 2/10/2014 00:07 AM

No. Even though after the first initial fuck up of TTing he did everything like a model remorseful H, I would have broken out the rusty scissors if he'd even thought of touching me.

flayed posted 2/10/2014 00:08 AM

Yes, 2 1/2 months

Uhtred posted 2/10/2014 00:14 AM

Yes for about 6 weeks with a drop off after that. It's a phenomena that is so strange. I remember asking myself what the hell was wrong with me for wanting to have sex with my ww.

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