SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

lilacs40 posted 2/10/2014 13:49 PM

So here I am again. My second DDay was Saturday. Things haven't been good between us and I had hoped that with MC they could be saved. I just told him we needed to talk about going agin 3 days prior to me finding out. Apparently WH did/does not. I so wish I had done things differently the first time this happened. Either we would have already divorced or maybe it would have not happened again. I have learned though (while I have to own things that are mine that made my marriage crumble) that until WH figures out why he keeps having EA our marriage won't

He doesn't believe that IC will help him and I can't do this again. I can't believe my marriage is over. I miss him already and the kids and I haven't even moved out yet.

norabird posted 2/10/2014 13:51 PM

I'm so sorry. In my case, the second DDay was painful but it also set me free. Despite the pain, I had clarity over who I had been trying to R with and understood it was all over.

I know you are still in shock but....there is a whole life ahead of you with better possibilities now that you are going to move on.

(((((hugs)))))

Skan posted 2/10/2014 13:57 PM

(((hugs))) If he doesn't want to try to understand what the heck is wrong with him, then he leaves you little choice. I'm so sorry. Please remember that all of this heartbreak is due to HIS horrible decisions and choices.

kasp posted 2/10/2014 14:00 PM

My second dday was Thursday. My post topic was almost the same. Feeling like all the work we did over the last year has been complete bullshit. He's been in therapy for a year working on herself but obviously not on us. I'm totally bummed. Found it good to confide in a close friend which I haven't really done before and then tell a couple of my employees that I'm dealing with some issues as well. It freed me to be Ok to feel what I feel and when. Also called my counselor just to vent a little and hear a calming voice. Just keep talking. Don't try to keep it inside.

kasp posted 2/10/2014 14:01 PM

Sorry. "She's" been in therapy for a year.

tushnurse posted 2/10/2014 14:18 PM

(((lilacs)))

It sucks that you are back, and that he is up to the same ole, same ole. But you at least now have your truth, and know that he is incapable of truly committing and doing the work that is required for R to be successful.

(((and strength)))

nowiknow23 posted 2/10/2014 15:47 PM

(((((lilacs))))) I'm so very sorry, honey.