There is nothing in this world that would induce me to take Trac-Fone back.
If this ever happened unicorns would also likely be real, so I don't need to give it much thought.
I don't miss him at all and know that I deserve better.
I did go through false R though but back then I didn't even know 1% of the whole story. If I had all the info on dday 1 I would've never given him a chance. I'm sure of it. My only reason for giving him a chance was because I wanted my son to have a father in his daily life. Now I know what a danger xwh is and I regret every second my son was exposed to him. I'll never forgive myself for it.
So no there is absolutely nothing that could ever convince me to take him back. Ever.
[This message edited by BrokenDaisy at 5:20 PM, February 10th (Monday)]
WH had 2 affairs in first year of marriage
[This message edited by WestMonroe91 at 5:48 PM, February 10th (Monday)]
He had so many opportunities to have a successful marriage (years of counseling, late-night talks, co-reading books, etc.) while we were married.
He ultimately bought his ticket to leave the marriage, so I let him.
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
I think I would have taken him back up until about 4-6 months after DDay. I found out in April, we S in May and I filed in July, done by October. I can remember still being in pretty bad shape by the end of October (still depressed and pretty emotionally desperate). So I think I was still vulnerable.
But by November I was back on the job market and working full time again and that, coupled with NC and time started to turn me around.
I still hate what's happened to us and I think fondly back on the man I M. That said, one of my biggest sorrows now is that I know not only can I never take him back... but NC has been such a life-saver and so productive that I don't think I can ever talk to him again at this point.
Another factor for me is that I never really "hit anger" because I S/D so fast. The only time I really got enraged was when he broke NC with me a little over a month ago via email. I hit the effing roof to a degree that didn't really make sense given that he was just contacting me to inform me of a (former) family member's death. But that's when I realized that it's probably a very, very, very bad idea for me to ever see him again.
If I opened the door and he was out there... I just hope there isn't a blunt instrument within reach.
Her: "When is it appropriate to take off the rings?"
Me: "Wy, does it bother him?"
Her: " Well, he asked....."
I could never be with him again, I could be civil with him if OWifetress wasn't meddling in the middle. I think that civil is the best he can hope for after what he has done and said and honestly it would be for the kids. So that IrishLad could have both of his parents at high school graduation and other special times.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Suppose you opened the door and your ex or STBX was there on bended knee,
Round house kick right in the jaw...
Eta. I used to say it would take severe amnesia to get me to take him back. And even then, he would have to hope I didn't find my journal.
[This message edited by littlefoggy at 6:36 PM, February 10th (Monday)]
Okay, kidding aside, I do remember being in that place, hoping to come home and find him on the front step with an apology, and going back and forth in my head about whether I'd cuss him out or punch him in the nuts or give him conditions of reconciliation. It's a tough place to be.
Now though, the very thought of willingly going back near his level of disfunction is laughable.
I put up with a LOT of his crap over the years. He could be embarrassing, rude, condescending, moody... but I loved him and knew that I wasn't perfect, and I always thought that love was about taking the good with the bad.
After he had an A? After several months of having sex with me while also having unprotected sex with a bored, spoiled housewife that he met on AM? Good god, NO. Add to the previous list of bad qualities that now he's also a liar, a cheat, a selfish pig, a man who clearly didn't care about his children or have any respect for himself, let alone me...
No thanks. He and CommandOwife may enjoy each other's brokenness ever after.