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Newest Member: YoungNInLove (61865)

User Topic: New feelings, I'm confused...
♀ 41473
Member # 41473
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I had surgery 3 weeks ago. It was minor, day surgery to remove a cyst and I was under general anesthesia.

Pre-surgery, I was still very hurt, very angry, riding that roller coaster of emotions since DDay on Aug 4. I was in the mode of contacting the OBS (that contact failed), and I was just hell bent on revenge and anger. I had emailed our MC prior to my surgery because I was so overwhelmed with all this, with H's seemingly lack of care about the complicated NC issue with OW (she's his supervisor at work, there is no option to transfer, quit, etc.), I felt like I was losing my mind. Add on the stress of the up-coming surgery. MC scheduled to have a phone conference with me after my surgery to give her some time to go over some info I had passed along to her from the FAQs here.

So, fast-forward to the surgery, it went well, I was home that afternoon, slept most of the day, H took care of me. He had the next day off, the worked a double shift, but my teenage son was home to help me out. That Monday, I had my phone conference with our MC, H worked a normal shift and then stopped at a store after work to talk with a friend there. Fine. He was also adamant about going to a friend's house that evening, but I said I really needed him home. I had an important appt. the following morning and I really needed a shower and change bandages and needed his help with all that. He only seems to want to go do something when it's inconvenient for everyone else. I wouldn't have cared had it been any other day. So he was pretty miffed.
Few days later, we had an appt. with MC and I told H about the phone conference. He was surprised that I had done that on my own. He still was miffed about not going to his friend's house, but we discussed it anyway. I wasn't trying to be a bitch, I truly needed him so I wouldn't get hurt in the shower. There was just no way around it!

So, that week went by a little rocky, but the next week, that's when things changed. Like I woke up in an alternate reality. It's like there's a peace that has fallen over us. I feel it. Suddenly, I'm more relaxed. I don't think about this whole mess the same way, it happened, moving on... He still texts me from work, heck, he's even been playing games with me during his down time. He's been sincerely more affectionate. He's been less grouchy, more happy. He's been attending to my needs more, without me even saying anything. I'm just confused by the suddenness of this. I LIKE it, but in the back of my mind, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Is this peace a normal thing? And to have happened so suddenly?

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa

Posts: 25 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: New England
♀ 41745
Member # 41745
Default  Posted: 1:23 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im here with you...I have just discovered that moment of peace where everything seems right. I dont think about the A as often as I used to...I am no longer in constant tears but I do have my moments. I have moments for the first time of unforced unfaked happiness. I think its like a rest stop period for our souls and minds after being so traumatized and thinking about the A 24/7 and it feels so good to take a breather and just go with it...I still have to make an effort at times not to obsess but not as much anymore...and it really helps that my WH is doing everything happy you too are starting to heal like the sun is coming up again

"The grass is greener on the other side because of all the shit that is used to fertilize it"
Him: WH after 8 yrs to think he held my hand during labor twice
Me: thought I was a cool loving wife
D Day: 7 mos ago RIP soul

Posts: 213 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Dante's Inferno
Topic Posts: 2

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