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Smokehouse posted 2/11/2014 07:45 AM

This past Thursday, a co-worker and good friend revealed to me his wife had moved out, requested a separation. My friend got the ILYBINILWY from her. You guessed it, she had an affair.

He learned this about a month ago and it has been eating him alive and he needed someone to talk to. We talked for two hours and he thanked me. I did not share anything of my WW's A, nor does he know. I am very private.

Friday night my friend goes to work, an hour later he's in the hospital. He had a heart attack at age 44!

He is a worrier by nature. This was too much for him, as I talked to him yesterday after he was discharged from the hospital.

Not sure why I posted this. It just makes me feel so helpless and sad that infidelity can do so much damage. I'm sure he was a candidate for a heart attack prior to learning of the affair but, we all know how devastating and the physical and mental toll it takes on our bodies.

God help us all.

solus sto posted 2/11/2014 07:53 AM

Poor guy. Yes, he may have been heading for a heart attack, anyway. But huge stressors like this really can nudge the process along considerably.

I know you're very private, but it might really help this friend if he were to know he wasn't all alone in this experience. Being a good friend to him is certainly enough--don't misunderstand. But it's such a huge blow, and the experience of infidelity feels so solitary. I know it helped me, quite a lot, to know that a significant number of the people in whom I confided were also BSs. I never dwelled on their situations, didn't discuss them and I have not since pondered them. It was just comforting to know I wasn't the alone in the experience.

Either way, you're a great friend.

Tred posted 2/11/2014 07:56 AM

Smokehouse,

Maybe you can point your friend to SI? You can do it without revealing your presence, just drop a hint like "A friend went through this and he got a lot of help of this Surviving Infidelity forum".


we all know how devastating and the physical and mental toll it takes on our bodies

True.

steadfast1973 posted 2/11/2014 08:29 AM

I recently told a friend who had also been through infidelity... And it really helped, both of us.

justjim posted 2/11/2014 08:44 AM

Maybe you can point your friend to SI? You can do it without revealing your presence, just drop a hint like "A friend went through this and he got a lot of help of this Surviving Infidelity forum".

Great idea.

I seriously don't think I would have made it to this point without this place.

I mean that.

simplydevastated posted 2/11/2014 08:48 AM

Friday night my friend goes to work, an hour later he's in the hospital. He had a heart attack at age 44!

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be keeping him in my thoughts for a speedy recovery.

I agree with Tred. Maybe you could also say that you did a search on the topic and found an online site that could help.

(((HUGS))) to you and your friend.

Smokehouse posted 2/11/2014 12:20 PM

Thanks all for the replies. A great idea pointing him in this direction. I will definitely let him know by telling him I found the site and wanted him to know. The only reason I didn't tell him is my WW also works at the same place as him and I. I know he wouldn't say anything to anyone but, you never know.

I'm not ashamed or embarrassed but, would hate for it to get out and everybody know my business. He is a great friend and I will do as suggested. SI saved my marriage and my sanity and I'm sure it would do the same for him as it has all on this site. I am so thankful for everybody that has bravely posted their thoughts and concerns, not just for me but, for everybody going through the devastation of infidelity.

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