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Valentines Day Shmalentines Day

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libertyrocks posted 2/11/2014 11:33 AM

Am I the only one completely over this shitty day?? fWH wants to take me away for the day and spend the night somewhere beautiful. I don't want to go because it reminds me of all the times he spent our money and took his tramps to a hotel. I've been pretty good about fake R-ing for the kids. But, I don't think I have what it takes to give him the awesome gift of "me" any longer. I can't stop thinking how shitty he treated me, the cheating for 3 years, that I know of, the 10 girls, that I know of. I believe there to be much more that I don't know, being that I busted him on every fact I had. Never, once, did he come to me with any details. Still hasnt' till this day. Who knows how long he was cheating. From day1 when we met?? Who knows. Only he does and he will hold all his lies to his deathbed. I'm uber pissed and deserve, actually demand much more now. Yes, my ducks have been in a row, always have been. I don't need him. I'm HIS mealticket. I keep trying to do it for the kids, but I'm afraid it's not going to work. Our lease is up in April. My plan is to bail then, leaving him with no place to go. I will be with my parents, which is fine for the time being. I'm thankful I have their support. :) Ok, just venting...Thanks for listening.

For the record, my first dday of MANY from Nov. 2012-Jan 2014. The lies just keep unflolding.

nowiknow23 posted 2/11/2014 11:38 AM

((((liberty)))) Don't go away with him, honey. If you do anything for Valentine's, make it about the kids.

Sending you strength.

libertyrocks posted 2/11/2014 11:47 AM

Thanks for the encouragement, nowiknow. I just think I'm gonna open a can of worms by rejecting his gift. I want to wait till April to make a clean break, y'know.

You're right. I actually DO want to make it about the kids. I want to see them wake up and get their Valentine gifts from me. That's the best gift.

I feel like I can't do it. I can't let him treat me this way. What kind of example am I setting to my boys, "oh, you're bartender dad was getting college chicks drunk and dating when you were babies." It's disgusting. AT LEAST if he loved one of them, fine, leave me. But, sadly this is not my case. I WISH he would've came to me sorrowful and confessed to one OW. Nope, I wasn't so lucky. At least those type of WS have some kind of empathy, compassion, and love inside them....

Daysie posted 2/11/2014 11:49 AM

Hi ((( Libertyrocks )))

Sorry I have no advice for you apart from to just "DO" what suits you.

All these special days that come along just add more pain on pain to the life we have to endure.

My WH stopped sending me Valentine cards/flowers 3yrs after we married. I now know why .Shame he didn't tell me .

He has to this day always said we didn't need a special day to remind each other how much in love we are .

libertyrocks posted 2/11/2014 11:51 AM

Daysie!!! OMG, mine said the same a few years ago and now I know why, too!! This year I told him I never want anything on this day.

Daysie posted 2/11/2014 12:07 PM


Yeah they are full of it.

My WH would not be able to tell you the date even .

Make's it even harder for me as its only 3 days before our wedding anniversary.

My D/Day was on our 35th wedding anniversary last year.

Will be interesting to see what happens this year

anv5 posted 2/11/2014 12:08 PM

Just thought I'd add my "warped" thinking

I have never been super big on valentine's was no big deal.
Now...I made it clear it is a big deal, I want to feel special, I want to be a pre-thought not an after thought. I am not going to have Any other girl have gotten more attention/gifts/affection than he gives me now.
I know it seems twisted but I want him to go the extra mile for me now because he didn't before...I want him to prove that I am more special to him than they were.

Just my two cents

thecosmogirl posted 2/11/2014 12:19 PM

Yeah, this year will suck badly. It's already becoming too much for me and I'm working VERY hard to use what I learned from watching The Secret (someone on here mentioned it and I thank whoever it was) but, I feel like I'm losing as the V Day gets closer.
Last year he did nothing. Of course I said it was no big deal but, now I know why he did nothing and "had to work late and there was just no time left"
and strange that for some reason we got in a fight after he got home from work.....I think I knew then but, I told myself it was foolish to have any kinds of those thoughts about my wonderful, faithful, loving husband

He has NO CLUE the FIRST time he stepped out but, as of Valentines last year he was deep into an A.
He swears he gave her nothing, no card, flowers, gifts...he's a fucking liar.

Ugh, I really am trying. I got him a card, just not sure I will give it to him.

Ostrich80 posted 2/11/2014 15:09 PM

I dont like V day..always had been a letdown until I quit expecting it not to be. Cupid can suck it!! I'm a bitter ol bitch today..

byefornow posted 2/11/2014 15:36 PM

My WH birthday is Valentine's Day. I know he bought the affair partner a Victoria secret gift card last year and I got flowers
This year is going to be horrible and I am just praying I get through the day without all over him!

marionwendy posted 2/11/2014 15:43 PM

I agree with anv5 Last year at this time my WH started his slippery slope down the road to hell. So He can give it his all this year, Flowers, card, dinner, gift! ALL OF IT!!!
I used to do it for him every year and his was always last minute. No More. I want to have all of it and Im not accepting anything less from him this year.

BeyondBreaking posted 2/11/2014 16:29 PM

My H and I are planning on going to a hockey game. I was actually really excited, until last night, and now I don't want to go anywhere with him. We already promised DD we would go, so I will grit my teeth and imagine HE is getting punched during every fight. At least there's no romantic/lovey dovey plans.

I do know (because I check his email) that he is delivering my v-day present to my work. He LOVES doing that because all the ladies I work with think he is Sooooooooo sweet (*barf*) and I have to fake like things are just fine and dandy with us.

Don't leave town with him. If you must celebrate, do it with the kids and call it a day.

Lonelygirl10 posted 2/11/2014 17:37 PM

Yeah, last year he faked being sick to me while he took OW out to dinner. And then when I said I was disappointed I couldn't see him, he came over AFTER dinner and told me the only reason why he was there was because I guilted him into it.

This year I'm single, and I'm fine with that. I'm staying the night with a girl, and she said that we will watch a chick flick and drink wine.

mandala posted 2/11/2014 17:52 PM

If I were you, libertyrocks, I wouldn't go anywhere with him. Just say you don't want to - that you want it to be a family holiday. The End. Hold strong until April (only two months away!) then leave him in the dust.

I'm still not sure what I want or what we will do. Fortunately there was no Valentines for OW and WH, so I don't have to deal with that.

WH wants to do something special, "especially now". He's always done something like send flowers, always gotten me a card, typically last minute, and we've never made a huge deal of it.
I usually get him a card and something he wants/needs.

A couple of weeks ago I went card shopping and almost started crying in the aisle. So hard to find a "Husband" card that doesn't talk about how wonderful it is to have someone to count on, to trust, to depend on, who is faithful, etc...

He is trying so hard to do and be right, though, that I don't want to get him a silly or funny card - sometimes I have, but there is always a serious one as well.

I do have to work this weekend, though, so there is no chance of a romantic getaway.
Like anv5, though, I think I do want him to make a big deal. I will be disappointed if he doesn't. He'd just better not expect much from me. Although I do appreciate his efforts to do everything right to try to R, he's the one trying to woo me, not the other way around.

scarednbroken posted 2/12/2014 11:18 AM

Yeah. I'm way over Valentines Day...

I just read a txt from his MCOW cafeteria worker - they are planning on getting together Friday for some "fun."

Yeah, and he wonders why I have no interest in sleeping in his bed. It was so hard not to ask him - "What?!?!? Your OWs and hookers aren't giving you enough?

Uhtred posted 2/12/2014 11:40 AM

There won't be any Valentine's day at Uhtred's house this year. There probably won't be any for many years to come.

My wayward wife made sure to ruin this holiday of love. Valentine's day is for lovers not cheaters.

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