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Rough day? Chop off your hair!

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roarlouder posted 2/11/2014 19:36 PM

Thought it would be a good fresh start. I've wanted to do it for awhile but didn't think STBXH would like it. Felt great for the first 30 min... Now I am not so sure. Kind of feel sorry for myself!

Last time I did this I was not in a good place just kept getting shorter and shorter. Maybe it will grow on me (ha, I am so funny tonight)

Gemini71 posted 2/11/2014 19:38 PM

I did the same thing. Did you cut it yourself or go so a salon? I recommend going to a salon and getting the full color/styling treatment.

roarlouder posted 2/11/2014 19:50 PM

No I went to a salon. That would have been very desperate trying on my own. My mother in law did my hair for years... I had someone else colour it earlier in jan before I left.

So a signal of many changes I guess. Thinking I'll book myself a valentines spa night :))

damncutekitty posted 2/11/2014 20:10 PM

My old boss told me the story of how she always kept her hair long for her XH, she said he told her that if she ever cut it short he'd divorce her. Then the day she decided to tell him she wanted a D she went to the salon and got her hair chopped. When she got home he said, I told you that if you ever cut your I'd divorce you. She answered back you don't need to because I am divorcing you. She was so sassy.

nowiknow23 posted 2/11/2014 20:50 PM

On the day my divorce was final, I went to the salon on a whim and let the stylist have her way with my hair.

I was a bit shocked about it for a day or two, and then I decided I loved it. I hope you love yours too, roar.

scarednbroken posted 2/11/2014 22:46 PM

I did the same. I have always had long hair for WH preference. (we are talking no shorter than below shoulder blades. I cut it SHORT. Dared his reaction. Then I colored deeeeeep red. I'm naturally light brown.

Chchchchanges!!! Lol

roarlouder posted 2/11/2014 22:57 PM

Great stories!! Yes it feels good... But I feel a little unsure. Hair grows though!

Vulcanized posted 2/11/2014 22:59 PM


I've always had really, really, really long hair (ass length-ish). I love it. My stylist cut it to nipple length last time ... I'm one sad otter.

But ... once it's cut, it's done. I know, it grows back, blah, blah, blah. Something very comforting, to me, about having a bunch of hair to hide behind, in.

gonnabe2016 posted 2/11/2014 23:48 PM

I'm in the minority here. During my marriage, I always heard this: "When are you gonna cut your hair, Gonna?" I thought my stbx was one of those *odd* guys that preferred short hair -- why? Because he TOLD me that he wanted my hair short so that he could see my pretty face/eyes. I would always grow it out because *I* prefer it long -- doesn't matter what short style I get my hair cut, within 3 hours of styling goes totally flat and I look like a little boy. But anyway, I would grow it long, get *bored* with it (or so I told myself anyway), figure I'd do something *nice* for stbx, and then I'd chop it off (and end up regretting it within days....)
Funny thing is that the majority of stbx's OW's (that I know of) have hair that is shoulder-length or longer......I think he just wanted to make me *ugly*. (he knew *he* liked long-er hair, assumed all other guys did too, so if *my* hair was short, then *he* was safe because then I'd be unattractive to other guys, kwim?)

So......about 10 months ago, I got extensions. Long-ass extensions.

Enjoy your new hair-style, Roar......and, if you end up hating it (which I hope that you don't)....remember that it's only hair and it DOES grow back!

Nature_Girl posted 2/11/2014 23:56 PM

One of my unexpected reactions to getting the divorce final was that I wanted to chop my hair off. Even shave it. I didn't do it, but that was my instinct. Interesting...

gonnabe2016 posted 2/12/2014 00:09 AM


Softcentre posted 2/12/2014 03:00 AM


I always loved my long hair. Now the longer we were married, the shorter my hair got (not short, short, but above shoulder length). I think it was a subconscious expression of my unhappiness (The Arse liked it long).

When I started making an effort at changing myself and looking for happiness where I was, rather than yearning for what wasn't, I grew it to just about my shoulders. When DDday happened, I decided I was going to grow it long. Whatever happened with R or not, I was going to be me and I was going to aim to be happy in my life.

10 months after he finally walked out, I have lovely long mid back length hair, with brand new highlights, which I love...and it makes me look younger too.

littlefoggy posted 2/12/2014 06:31 AM

My hair is short now. I can pull it back in a pony tail if I put a head band on, too. I am thinking of growing my hair out.

Although, I found a super cute short hair style on Pinterest.

cmego posted 2/12/2014 06:38 AM

Ohhh…I went Pixie short.

I've always heard, "When a woman cuts her hair, she is about to change her life."

I look adorable with pixie hair, but I've had it almost 3 years and just now growing it back out some.

I dated one guy who just loved it. His hands were always in my hair.

Some guys like long hair, some like short…I just do what *I* like.

kg201 posted 2/12/2014 07:04 AM

Wish I could do this, but being a man with short hair, the next step would be to shave it bald. and the last time I did this I did it for my STBX when she was going through radiation. No need to trigger.

Maybe I should grow it long and get a Rachel. Hmmmm.

Williesmom posted 2/12/2014 07:44 AM

Mine was very short for the last 10 years of the marriage. I went even shorter during the D and its aftermath. I'm also a natural blonde

It's now "long". A chin length bob. I'm kinda liking it. I also dyed it brown with highlights.

I still feel like a blonde inside - I'm shocked every time I look in the mirror.

Lola2kids posted 2/12/2014 07:51 AM

X was always frustrated with my slightly longer than shoulder length hair. It always got in his face when we were hugging or being intimate.
He said he was going to shave it off when I was sleeping. I always thought this was weird because I assumed all men like long hair.

My hair is still shoulder lenght but I pull it back into a pony tail every day because I can't be bothered to take the time to style it.
I want to get it layered again like I had it after the kids were born. Shake and go.
I don't have time for anything else.

madsadalone posted 2/12/2014 07:57 AM

Always have had long hair, but I started turning silver in my twenties. Colored it because "he" thought I looked better without silver.

Well now after 10+ months I am completely silver. Long silver hair, aka Silver Fox!

roarlouder posted 2/12/2014 09:30 AM

Before I left in the limbo stage I did have the urge to shave my head...seems to be a theme here! I am now calling it my crisis hair. Don't love it, but it will grow. And feels good to do something just based on what I want.

I have never had long hair, always chin length or above the shoulders. I don't think it looks great long, but STBXH was always not on board with long hair. I know there are lots of ow I haven't seen, but all that I have had long hair. And his main 5 yr squeeze had very, very long hair. Wonder if that was part if why he wanted it shorter (but not to short.)

[This message edited by roarlouder at 9:30 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)]

MissMovingOn posted 2/12/2014 10:07 AM

Mine has always been super long. Last summer I got a sidecut pixie and I love it! I did just decide to grow it out a bit though, because I'm growing tired of visiting my hairdresser (as lovely as she is) every two weeks.

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