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Newest Member: W2MNL (46024)

User Topic: Rough day? Chop off your hair!
roarlouder
♀ 40921
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thought it would be a good fresh start. I've wanted to do it for awhile but didn't think STBXH would like it. Felt great for the first 30 min... Now I am not so sure. Kind of feel sorry for myself!

Last time I did this I was not in a good place just kept getting shorter and shorter. Maybe it will grow on me (ha, I am so funny tonight)


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Gemini71
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did the same thing. Did you cut it yourself or go so a salon? I recommend going to a salon and getting the full color/styling treatment.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 2089 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
roarlouder
♀ 40921
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No I went to a salon. That would have been very desperate trying on my own. My mother in law did my hair for years... I had someone else colour it earlier in jan before I left.

So a signal of many changes I guess. Thinking I'll book myself a valentines spa night :))


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
damncutekitty
♀ 5929
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My old boss told me the story of how she always kept her hair long for her XH, she said he told her that if she ever cut it short he'd divorce her. Then the day she decided to tell him she wanted a D she went to the salon and got her hair chopped. When she got home he said, I told you that if you ever cut your I'd divorce you. She answered back you don't need to because I am divorcing you. She was so sassy.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the day my divorce was final, I went to the salon on a whim and let the stylist have her way with my hair.

I was a bit shocked about it for a day or two, and then I decided I loved it. I hope you love yours too, roar.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26476 | Registered: Aug 2011
scarednbroken
♀ 41961
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did the same. I have always had long hair for WH preference. (we are talking no shorter than below shoulder blades. I cut it SHORT. Dared his reaction. Then I colored deeeeeep red. I'm naturally light brown.

Chchchchanges!!! Lol


BS: Me 44 WH: 51 Kids: 14, 16, 18, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 420 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
roarlouder
♀ 40921
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great stories!! Yes it feels good... But I feel a little unsure. Hair grows though!


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Vulcanized
♀ 33523
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've always had really, really, really long hair (ass length-ish). I love it. My stylist cut it to nipple length last time ... I'm one sad otter.

But ... once it's cut, it's done. I know, it grows back, blah, blah, blah. Something very comforting, to me, about having a bunch of hair to hide behind, in.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 784 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in the minority here. During my marriage, I always heard this: "When are you gonna cut your hair, Gonna?" I thought my stbx was one of those *odd* guys that preferred short hair -- why? Because he TOLD me that he wanted my hair short so that he could see my pretty face/eyes. I would always grow it out because *I* prefer it long -- doesn't matter what short style I get my hair cut, within 3 hours of styling it....it goes totally flat and I look like a little boy. But anyway, I would grow it long, get *bored* with it (or so I told myself anyway), figure I'd do something *nice* for stbx, and then I'd chop it off (and end up regretting it within days....)
Funny thing is that the majority of stbx's OW's (that I know of) have hair that is shoulder-length or longer......I think he just wanted to make me *ugly*. (he knew *he* liked long-er hair, assumed all other guys did too, so if *my* hair was short, then *he* was safe because then I'd be unattractive to other guys, kwim?)

So......about 10 months ago, I got extensions. Long-ass extensions.

Enjoy your new hair-style, Roar......and, if you end up hating it (which I hope that you don't)....remember that it's only hair and it DOES grow back!


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my unexpected reactions to getting the divorce final was that I wanted to chop my hair off. Even shave it. I didn't do it, but that was my instinct. Interesting...


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10133 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

.....GINatureGirl????....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Softcentre
39166
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 3:00 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting!

I always loved my long hair. Now the longer we were married, the shorter my hair got (not short, short, but above shoulder length). I think it was a subconscious expression of my unhappiness (The Arse liked it long).

When I started making an effort at changing myself and looking for happiness where I was, rather than yearning for what wasn't, I grew it to just about my shoulders. When DDday happened, I decided I was going to grow it long. Whatever happened with R or not, I was going to be me and I was going to aim to be happy in my life.

10 months after he finally walked out, I have lovely long mid back length hair, with brand new highlights, which I love...and it makes me look younger too.


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - passive aggressive, tt'ing, gaslighting...multiple EA's with different women (1 'proven') and at least 1 PA

Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him.

"Until God opens the next do


Posts: 1115 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
littlefoggy
♀ 41429
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My hair is short now. I can pull it back in a pony tail if I put a head band on, too. I am thinking of growing my hair out.

Although, I found a super cute short hair style on Pinterest.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 499 | Registered: Nov 2013
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohhh…I went Pixie short.

I've always heard, "When a woman cuts her hair, she is about to change her life."

I look adorable with pixie hair, but I've had it almost 3 years and just now growing it back out some.

I dated one guy who just loved it. His hands were always in my hair.

Some guys like long hair, some like short…I just do what *I* like.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4279 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
kg201
♂ 40173
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wish I could do this, but being a man with short hair, the next step would be to shave it bald. and the last time I did this I did it for my STBX when she was going through radiation. No need to trigger.

Maybe I should grow it long and get a Rachel. Hmmmm.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 802 | Registered: Aug 2013
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine was very short for the last 10 years of the marriage. I went even shorter during the D and its aftermath. I'm also a natural blonde

It's now "long". A chin length bob. I'm kinda liking it. I also dyed it brown with highlights.

I still feel like a blonde inside - I'm shocked every time I look in the mirror.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7862 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Lola2kids
♀ 32789
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

X was always frustrated with my slightly longer than shoulder length hair. It always got in his face when we were hugging or being intimate.
He said he was going to shave it off when I was sleeping. I always thought this was weird because I assumed all men like long hair.

My hair is still shoulder lenght but I pull it back into a pony tail every day because I can't be bothered to take the time to style it.
I want to get it layered again like I had it after the kids were born. Shake and go.
I don't have time for anything else.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1477 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
madsadalone
♀ 39201
Member # 39201
Content  Posted: 7:57 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Always have had long hair, but I started turning silver in my twenties. Colored it because "he" thought I looked better without silver.

Well now after 10+ months I am completely silver. Long silver hair, aka Silver Fox!


Me: BS 47
Him:WH 55
M: 27 yrs
DD 4/29/13
3 kids (25,23,22

Posts: 82 | Registered: May 2013
roarlouder
♀ 40921
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before I left in the limbo stage I did have the urge to shave my head...seems to be a theme here! I am now calling it my crisis hair. Don't love it, but it will grow. And feels good to do something just based on what I want.

I have never had long hair, always chin length or above the shoulders. I don't think it looks great long, but STBXH was always not on board with long hair. I know there are lots of ow I haven't seen, but all that I have had long hair. And his main 5 yr squeeze had very, very long hair. Wonder if that was part if why he wanted it shorter (but not to short.)

[This message edited by roarlouder at 9:30 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)]


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
MissMovingOn
♀ 30720
Member # 30720
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine has always been super long. Last summer I got a sidecut pixie and I love it! I did just decide to grow it out a bit though, because I'm growing tired of visiting my hairdresser (as lovely as she is) every two weeks.


Me: BS, 34
Him: (SA/NPD)WH, 31
Multiple ddays since 2010 (Latest January 15th 2013) - not counting anymore!
FINAL FINAL DDay - August 8, 2014. I AM DONE!

Posts: 420 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: West Coast Canada
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

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