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Newest Member: Nathan (61870)

User Topic: Valentines Day - I hate you - Rant
♀ 42366
Member # 42366
Angry  Posted: 9:18 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So before DDay #1(1/7) and DDday #2(1/15), I looked forward to Valentines Day. I had never had a good one until last year (my first one with my husband (fiance at the time). Once I found out about the EA I found that he communicated with AP on 2/13 and 2/14. I have asked him if he gave her any gifts that year and he says no. I now HATE this day. I have expressed to him that I do not want to celebrate. He says - Lets celebrate our "new love". To which I responded - "what new love? I dont have new love for you?". I had to go to CVS Monday night to pick up a presciption and it was everywhere.... I was so sad when I left there and got home and just cried.

I hate this!! I hate my new life and I hate that I had no choice in this - I just have to accept it or leave. I do not want to give up on my marriage but am I ever going to be able to enjoy the things I used to?

Posts: 5 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ 41961
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea how to help you here. Except give you hugs. I think if you have a truly reconciled M, and he can replace all the bad with good memories, then you may be able to move past it.

I never could move on, he never tried to help me. ANd he continues to make every "special' day a day about his OWs.

Good luck. I hope your WH will help you.


BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 423 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
♀ 32948
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make the day about you doing nice things for you. You love the most special, kind, loving, generous, sexy, smart and beautiful person you know so take You out and spend time with You and buy You something you really want. Spend the day with the wonderful YOU! Celebrate your specialness!

Every betrayed spouse needs to make the day about loving themselves and not think about the hurt we feel, just celebrate our loveliness!

Me- Happily single
Divorced 8/23/2012
I am stronger and better than before.

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
♀ 42356
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OR make the day just like any other day........ don't make it into some fiasco, don't dwell on what the day is... just try and go about your day just like its any other day..... which can be hard with the outside stimuli, but its worth a try. Sending my support!!!!!!

"A tree falls the way it careful which way you lean"

Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ 42110
Member # 42110
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am there with you and know (and feel) how you feel. Every commute when I listen to NPR and hear them pitching the valentine's flowers to their donors, I cringe. No matter how I rationalize it, the day (and the run up to the day) will be very difficult.

I also empathize with your statement, "I had no choice in this." That is exactly how I feel.

Some days are so much tougher than others...

Me -BW
Him - WH
Dday 7/11/2013
DS - 12 and DD - 16

Posts: 334 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast
♀ 36711
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, then I have found the perfect card! This is my first pic upload attempt, so here goes...

D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
♀ 41800
Member # 41800
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Will never be naive again...

BW - Me (29)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (34)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (4) and DD (1)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on for ye

Posts: 111 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 7

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