We do not have the money to pay these bills, because of his bad money management. Instead of just ignoring him this morning, I foolishly, stupidly, reminded him of this and why we don't have the money. I then receive a verbal smack down from him about how horrible of a person I am and there is no way he is moving out until I can prove that I can be responsible, and some more lovely thoughts from him.
I was so mad at myself after he left. I KNOW BETTER. Then as the anger slowed down, I melted into tears over my hatred for him, his ugly, cruel, inhumane self.
I guess I just need some reassurance that I AM going to make it through this and survive. And make a better life for my kids and I. I am going to call one of the attorneys today that I talked to a while back whom I really like, and feel like he has mine and my children's best interest in the forefront. I have to change my thinking on trying to get him out of here. It's going to take too long. I really had hoped to stay here because it's such a great neighborhood and my kids have a lot of friends in it. But the kids and I will have to find a new place. And we will be just fine.
I need to get my strength and resolve back. I hate this scared, sad feeling.
My only advice is to perhaps call the utilities companies that are owed the money and see what they can do to help you until you can get something together.
I know that doesn't help you with your WH or the legal aspects of things.
I've made the emotional decision to sell. While I feel sad for selling my children's home, I know it's my ticket to freedom. I can find a small, affordable rental until I finish school and will have a chunk of money in the bank.
You and the kids will be fine and the peace of mind you'll receive from being disentangled with him is priceless. Go see that attorney, file and get your financial agreement. Lots of hugs to you today.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
You will be okay. Things will probably be rocky & scary at times, but you will manage. You do not need this man's permission to live your own life or make your own life decisions.
But the kids and I will have to find a new place. And we will be just fine.
[This message edited by GingerAle at 11:15 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)]
You can do this!
Now I am faced with all these it tied to everything we own going through a D (I hope). We won't be diving assets. We will be dividing debt.... :(
Good luck honey. Know that we are all here with you. And you need to be strong. Get him out or get you and the kids out. The abuse is not good for any of you.
WH had 2 affairs in first year of marriage
Sometimes we need outside perspectives to recognize how distorted our own thinking has become.
One of the many reasons I am so thankful for all of you.
I was thinking about finances, and how some of you are so much better off alone. It will probably end up being that way for me, too. Even though my STXWH makes good money, so much of it goes to waste on late fees, bank overdrafts, and fees he incurs because of his idiotic spending habits. Not to mention the daily eating out at restaurants and excessive spending on his hobbies. We are always broke, always behind on everything, even though he makes enough to pay our bills, buy groceries and necessities, and have some left over to save and some for fun.
Yes, I know my budget will be tight, but it will be so worth it to have a peaceful, happy home