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movingforward13 (original poster member #38405) posted at 5:00 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
We all need to get together and compose the Cheater's Manual, complete with chapters, things they say, personality disorders, "going underground" and etc. I swear there is a manual but I can't find it.... Guess because I am not a cheater 
[This message edited by movingforward13 at 11:01 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)]
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
NikkiD ( member #38173) posted at 5:00 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 5:02 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Sounds good. I'm pretty good at writing.
We can't forget the chapter "Soulmate Schmoopies." 
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 5:07 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
How about "what I did in my own time, when you weren't around, was my business"? That's a pearl right there.
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 5:09 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Another chapter "What I did wasn't as bad as what other people have done."
My favorite chapter, though "I didn't realize what I was doing was wrong." 
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
BelleStar ( member #13515) posted at 5:18 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Another chapter title: I've done nothing wrong...
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 5:42 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Let's not forget the chapter on "you made me do it!" Hmmmm. Maybe that will need a volume II.
Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
heforgotme ( member #38391) posted at 5:47 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Chapter 12. "I was never going to leave you."
D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry
marionwendy ( member #41303) posted at 6:14 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
My chapters were: I didn't think That texting was cheating...and the 2nd chapter was: Just friends and the 3rd:was I didn't want to sleep with her????????? 
BS-52
WS-53
Married-25
Together-25
Children-2
Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.
TennisTC ( member #41330) posted at 6:14 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
And don't forget "I love you but I'm not in love with you."
Me: BW Him: WH (Both early 30's)
Married 11 years with a DD 7
R'ing
yestopants ( member #41631) posted at 6:36 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
what about....
chapter ? " I think we will be really great friends."
Me: 37
2 amazing kids DS, DD
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 6:38 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
I always refer to it as the Cheater's Standard Book of Spells.
We need to be sure to include "I didn't think you loved me anymore and wouldn't care."
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Jduff ( member #41988) posted at 7:31 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Seriously, I'm all for having a quick list of quotes from waywards to help the new BS sift through and immediately decipher their meaning. Make it a part of the healing library. I myself was completely blown away how common the excuses and rationalization were by many of them. I think this is important for the new BS to be able to see through the mindfvcking/gaslighting that is or is about to occur. The sooner a BS can separate fact from fantasy talk, the quicker he/she can take action to heal themselves and do the 180.
Ones I remember:
"We don't have anything in common." while conveniently overlooking everything we do actually have in common.
"There's just no passion/romance in this relationship".
"I'm a changed person."
The grass is always greener.... where the dogs are shitting.
-Soundgarden
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 7:36 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
scaredyKat somehow it makes me feel so much better to know someone else was given the 'you made me do it!' line! Yeah, when I asked you to only try if you meant it I was really just saying 'lie to me more'
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 7:38 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Or how they purposely pick fights and intentionally twisting words in order to be offended and pick a fight. That way, they can say that "all we ever do is fight", "we just can't talk to each other", "we don't communicate well".
Oh, and the nonsense after DD, "you would really like her if you just got to know her!"
[This message edited by StillLivin at 1:39 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
JLyn1128 ( member #41915) posted at 7:49 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
@Stilllivin..... seriously? He said that and lived? Of all the things he could say that would be fatal if he did it. My WSO said (in telling me he never intended to stay with her) "She's not even a nice person". It was all I could do not to say "well, birds of a feather, I guess".
Me BSO 63
Him WSO 63
Together 31years, married for a year
OW - Available. Thinks 'love' is in the way he looks at her.
Status - R and hopeful
BelleStar ( member #13515) posted at 7:56 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
It was a mistake. I never meant for you to find out.
yeah right. bleh
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 8:41 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Chapter 20 If I Want to Fuck a Girl, I Will.
Actually said to me by XSO. Now you know why he's X.
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
movingforward13 (original poster member #38405) posted at 9:30 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
I love you but I am not in love with you...
Amazing cheating words. I will FOREVER know what this sentence means and how my life will change after it.
My XWH "I have cheated in every relationship I have ever been in." Wish he told me that BEFORE we started dating.
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
Flowerforme ( new member #38497) posted at 9:39 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
All we did was kiss
She came on to me 
And..... we only had sex once
Bgf-me
WWBf-ugh
DD Aug.1/2012 with an ex gf had been seeing her the entire time we were together..
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