SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

movingforward13 posted 2/12/2014 11:00 AM

We all need to get together and compose the Cheater's Manual, complete with chapters, things they say, personality disorders, "going underground" and etc. I swear there is a manual but I can't find it.... Guess because I am not a cheater

[This message edited by movingforward13 at 11:01 AM, February 12th (Wednesday)]

NikkiD posted 2/12/2014 11:00 AM

Im down!!!

simplydevastated posted 2/12/2014 11:02 AM

Sounds good. I'm pretty good at writing.

We can't forget the chapter "Soulmate Schmoopies."

norabird posted 2/12/2014 11:07 AM

How about "what I did in my own time, when you weren't around, was my business"? That's a pearl right there.

simplydevastated posted 2/12/2014 11:09 AM

Another chapter "What I did wasn't as bad as what other people have done."

My favorite chapter, though "I didn't realize what I was doing was wrong."

BelleStar posted 2/12/2014 11:18 AM

Another chapter title: I've done nothing wrong...

Lionne posted 2/12/2014 11:42 AM

Let's not forget the chapter on "you made me do it!" Hmmmm. Maybe that will need a volume II.

heforgotme posted 2/12/2014 11:47 AM

Chapter 12. "I was never going to leave you."

marionwendy posted 2/12/2014 12:14 PM

My chapters were: I didn't think That texting was cheating...and the 2nd chapter was: Just friends and the 3rd:was I didn't want to sleep with her?????????

TennisTC posted 2/12/2014 12:14 PM

And don't forget "I love you but I'm not in love with you."

yestopants posted 2/12/2014 12:36 PM

what about....
chapter ? " I think we will be really great friends."

Rebreather posted 2/12/2014 12:38 PM

I always refer to it as the Cheater's Standard Book of Spells.

We need to be sure to include "I didn't think you loved me anymore and wouldn't care."

Jduff posted 2/12/2014 13:31 PM

Seriously, I'm all for having a quick list of quotes from waywards to help the new BS sift through and immediately decipher their meaning. Make it a part of the healing library. I myself was completely blown away how common the excuses and rationalization were by many of them. I think this is important for the new BS to be able to see through the mindfvcking/gaslighting that is or is about to occur. The sooner a BS can separate fact from fantasy talk, the quicker he/she can take action to heal themselves and do the 180.

Ones I remember:

"We don't have anything in common." while conveniently overlooking everything we do actually have in common.

"There's just no passion/romance in this relationship".

"I'm a changed person."

norabird posted 2/12/2014 13:36 PM

scaredyKat somehow it makes me feel so much better to know someone else was given the 'you made me do it!' line! Yeah, when I asked you to only try if you meant it I was really just saying 'lie to me more'

StillLivin posted 2/12/2014 13:38 PM

Or how they purposely pick fights and intentionally twisting words in order to be offended and pick a fight. That way, they can say that "all we ever do is fight", "we just can't talk to each other", "we don't communicate well".

Oh, and the nonsense after DD, "you would really like her if you just got to know her!"

[This message edited by StillLivin at 1:39 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]

JLyn1128 posted 2/12/2014 13:49 PM

@Stilllivin..... seriously? He said that and lived? Of all the things he could say that would be fatal if he did it. My WSO said (in telling me he never intended to stay with her) "She's not even a nice person". It was all I could do not to say "well, birds of a feather, I guess".

BelleStar posted 2/12/2014 13:56 PM

It was a mistake. I never meant for you to find out.

yeah right. bleh

lynnm1947 posted 2/12/2014 14:41 PM

Chapter 20 If I Want to Fuck a Girl, I Will.

Actually said to me by XSO. Now you know why he's X.

movingforward13 posted 2/12/2014 15:30 PM

I love you but I am not in love with you...

Amazing cheating words. I will FOREVER know what this sentence means and how my life will change after it.

My XWH "I have cheated in every relationship I have ever been in." Wish he told me that BEFORE we started dating.

Flowerforme posted 2/12/2014 15:39 PM

All we did was kiss
She came on to me
And..... we only had sex once