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Newest Member: 2ndChance (61863)

User Topic: Irritation and 4 more months to go...
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No real reason for this post just felt like rambling. Sorry for the language in advance. I am ok just a little irritated. Just thinking about Dealbreakers and how for me, her A and the TTing pretty much invalidated anything that came out of my STBXWW mouth after DDay. With her A she effectively stole 10 years fo my life. I am completely NC unless it's about the kids. Finances is handled with a monthly CS check. I am not mad anymore and I tolerate being around her when needed for things like kid swaps and school functions.

There were likely some valid points and issues that my STBXWW had with me and our M. However she will never get to voice those issues and even if she did I immediately dismissed them because nothing she can bring up will ever trump me saying "but stbxww, you fucked other dudes!" Once I realized my M was over I fully embraced this mantra. Right or wrong it was my sword and shield and it helped me make it through the tough times. The TTing, the blameshifting, the continued lying. I didn't enjoy it but it quickly shut down any discussions I didn't feel like having at the time and eventually we stopped having discussion at all which was fine by me since we were in-house S at the time.

7yrs, think about what we are doing to the kids. STBXW you should have thought about that when you were fucking other dudes. 7yrs, I had a car accident the other day and you didn't ask about me. STBXW you fired me from the job of caring anything about you when you fucked other dudes. 7yrs, why do we need to get our son into IC. STBXW, he needs IC because you decided to fuck other dudes which led to me filing for D. 7yrs, you seem like you have a lot of anger and I am hardening my heart towards you. STBXW, I don't give a fuck about you hardening your heart to me because you hardened it a long time ago when you decided to fuck other dudes. So I could care less about you or your feelings right now. It's no longer my job.

I just felt like getting this out. No real purpose to it but it's been in my head for a few weeks now. Just kind of irks me that to this day she still acts like everything is fine. I no longer dwell on it or even think about it often. It's impossible for her to cease to exist so I have to deal with her on occasion. My situation is much better than many here but it still sucks that I have to deal with her for the rest of my life in some way shape or form. Unfortunately there is no erase this person button or at least no one has given me access yet. On a bright note only 4 more months until this moronic 1 year waiting period is over and the D can be official. I am not free until I am officially free and divorced and it's not getting here soon enough.

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 2224 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there. Keep marking the days off!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10199 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Waiting periods should be 90 days max. A one year waiting period is just barbaric......

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 9188 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
♂ 27673
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The lack of remorse....the lack of the ultimate bite in the ass. But all we can do is move on.

By the way, I really liked your mantra for getting through the tougher times. Good for you.

2 boys-20 & 23(special needs)
Married 24yrs.(together 30yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day(s): Plenty
Accepting that I can may end this marriage 7/2/14
Heading for D

Posts: 2990 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's messed up that you have a waiting period.

Sending you strength and (((hugs)))

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Topic Posts: 5

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