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nekorb posted 2/12/2014 14:51 PM

Finally starting to un decorate the house from Christmas.

I know, I know. I don't want to hear it.

I had to stop after putting the stockings in their box and making sure WH's was on top for easy retrieval when he packs his things.

Suddenly it dawned on me that no one would be filling my stocking next Christmas. WH always did that. I can't expect my kids to do it.

It makes me so horribly sad. I'm hiding in my room right now so the kids don't see me crying.

I also made WH a beautiful stocking - I made one for all of us. I'm not giving it to him. He doesn't deserve it. He can take the one his mother made for him. She made me one too. All the kids have one. We usually hang hers over the fireplace and Santa fills those. (My kids are all teenagers. I don't care. It's Santa dang it!) the ones I made get hung on the staircase and they all know I put a little something special in there from me.

Then I start thinking about the budget for next year for gifts, which won't be much. I think about having to ask my parents if we can not exchange gifts next year so that I can give more to the kids.

It makes me so sad. I love to give gifts.

I just decided in this moment that I'm going to start working on something handmade for my family members that like that sort of thing.

Catwoman posted 2/12/2014 14:53 PM

My then-teens, now young adults, always put something in my Christmas stocking. Give your kids some credit.

Cat

nekorb posted 2/12/2014 14:56 PM

I will love it if they do. My oldest will probably remember, but I don't want them to feel obligated to do it. You know?

Infidelity sucks.

Lionne posted 2/12/2014 14:56 PM

You certainly CAN expect your kids to fill your stocking! Just make sure you tell them, dont expect them to think of it on their own. Have a brainstorming session in the spring/summer about cheap our free things that are nice stocking stuffers.
We sometimes add sea shells, favorite fruits, etc.
And think about a pollyanna with your extended family.

norabird posted 2/12/2014 15:05 PM

I think there is no shame in picking up something nice for your stocking from Santa, too

It certainly is hard to look back at mementos that were part of pre-DDay life--but you will still have beautiful Christmases. And I bet your homemade presents will be the envy of everyone.

EvenKeel posted 2/12/2014 15:06 PM

This is a great opportunity for new traditions. Don't get so hung up on 'what isn't anymore' that you rule out something new.

If stockings are important to you - make a priority.

One year when I was growing up we exchanged names for stockings and set a $20 price limit. It is amazing what you can do with a little bit of money when you are just concentrating on one person and their likes (ie lottery tickets, lip balm, etc).

The first few years I did not even put my stocking up (just the kids) because it was too depressing. I am fine now. Like others said, even my little one will sometimes make something and put it in there.

Good news is you are thinking about this now (well....even if you are putting it all away ) This gives you a lot of time to think of what you would like to do next year, etc.

RE: Budget - I did a Christmas Club account.....big help.

tushnurse posted 2/12/2014 15:06 PM

Sorry I have to agree with the Cat's here.
You can expect it, and it is your job as their mom to tell them that you expect it.

Lead by example. In other words. Say hey I fill yours, and now you fill mine, and when you have a family it will be your responsibility to make sure that your wife's is taken care of too.

It sucks and is painful to deal with all of that, but it is also a chance to teach your children how not to be.

nekorb posted 2/12/2014 15:25 PM

Thanks for giving me the reminder that Christmas will be what I MAKE it to be with my kids. Darn straight.

They are old enough to have input. They are old enough for me to explain to them budget concerns and work within the given parameters.

Who knows...maybe my children will vote to DO something together vs giving each other THINGS with our budget. That might be a fun option too.

Thanks, People.

(((SI Peoples)))

simplydevastated posted 2/12/2014 15:41 PM

Don't worry about it too much, you'll just stress yourself out that much more. It'll all work out, you'll see.

Back when I still had some money of my own and my husband and I stopped exchanging I filled my own stocking. I had slipper socks, lotion, body spray. It was great! The kids loved the fact that Santa brought me something. I have no money now so I can't do that anymore.

I have one idea for when I'm divorced (hopefully). I plan on buying gift cards to use to purchase gifts for the kids. I figure the money will be safe in the cards and I'll have them when I need them. A $25/$50 gift card here or there throughout the year will add up.

My family loves my desserts. So, one year I made my mom and sister their own apple pie. They thought it was the best gift ever and it made me feel good to be able to give them something.

I hope some of these ideas helps you.

(((Hugs)))

sunshine226 posted 2/12/2014 17:17 PM

I know how you feel

This past Christmas was very hard, money wise, and thankfully my kids were very understanding. And it made me realize, it isn't about the money or the gifts, its about spending time together.

Still struggling with the finances, but I plan to use a Walmart gift card and throughout the year, add funds to it so that come November, I will have a good amount of money on it to help out with Christmas. Tucking a little away every week might be helpful to you too, $5.00 here and there will add up after 7 or 8 months

Hang in there

PS My tree only came down 3 weeks ago!!!!

crazynot posted 2/12/2014 23:58 PM

It will be FINE. GREAT in fact. That's been my experience. My kids MASSIVELY stepped up once HE had gone. We formed new traditions just the three of us and this Christmas, in our new rented place in the new area I've moved to, we all agreed twas our best ever. We do stockings too. JUST STOP with the sentimental stuff about this cheating man, Nekorb. I'd snip his stocking up and put it in the bin if I were you!!!!