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Most f'ked up, mean, and vindictive thing your WS did.

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jimbo25319 posted 2/12/2014 19:48 PM

What was the most mean, vindictive, and F'ked up thing your WS did to you?
Mine took my son, moved in with the other man, then called the State Police, turning over to them some "special sports supplements" I had.
While I was at work, they served a search warrant on my home. I was then called in and suspended from work.
Criminal charges were filed against me and I have court tomorrow.
So now I'm facing a criminal record, loss of my career for the last 23 years, unemployment (job market where I live is abismal), foreclosure on my home for the last 21years, and the eventual D.
A while ago my WW and I had a conversation about diming me out to the SP. She was like "well what would you have done?". I responded I would have covered your ass, not stab you in the back.
Please spare the comments about how if I wasn't doing what I was, this wouldn't have happened. I'm aware of that.

My story may be bad, but I know there are many of us out there whose WS's did some really F'ked up crap.
Please share your horror stories.

jo2love posted 2/12/2014 20:49 PM


simplydevastated posted 2/12/2014 20:52 PM


That's all messed up. I'm so sorry for you.

IrishLass518 posted 2/12/2014 20:57 PM

He had an affair and lied to me, our children, friends and family. Then he blamed me for it all.

justjim posted 2/12/2014 21:39 PM

Has a three year affair on weekends while telling me she was going back home to care for her parents.
Walked out on Thanksgiving morning while I had our turkey in the oven, denying any responsibility for the collapse of our marriage and putting it all on me.

Told me later that she chose to leave on Thanksgiving (even though she was prepared to leave at the first of the month) to "make it hurt worse".

Yeah. She's a real winner.

PositiveAttitude posted 2/12/2014 21:47 PM

Had me text OW because their relationship wasn't going in the direction he hoped it would - I agreed because he was agreeing to all my parenting agreement stipulations.

Took our girls on paydates with OWs children before the affair was even in the open.

Gave OW my phone number so she could harass me via text when she found out he and I were still physically intimate - she was so betrayed. Gag.

Told me he felt like he had been cheating on OW with me. Told me that the thought of her moving in with another man was harder on him than the thought of me moving on.

Yeah, he was a real peach during that time. Hard to believe we are in R.

[This message edited by PositiveAttitude at 9:48 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]

MinorBee posted 2/12/2014 21:49 PM

My xH didn't call an ambulance when I was in a medical crisis. I could have died, and with his training in emergency first aid he KNEW that I needed to go to the ER.

Basically, my xH attempted to kill me, a fact that he admitted months later. He and the OW were hoping I would just die and let them get on with their happy, happy magical lives.

Sucks to be them 'cause I'm still here.

Lowlow posted 2/12/2014 21:58 PM

Told me that sex with OW was fantastic (K, I knew that but didn't need to hear it)

Brought OW to our house and had sex with her. Didn't have the decency to use a condom even though their tryst was planned in advance

But mostly, not looking after me while I was hospitalized for serious complications while undergoing IVF. In fact, refusing to talk about our miscarriage.... Seems OW was more deserving of his attention and care at that time.

Hugs to you all.

Unagie posted 2/12/2014 22:03 PM

Got on the phone for 2 hours after I asked him to go NC with one oh the OW. He had to comfort her because she felt like I was accusing her of being something she wasn't. She met him through a craigslist sex ad but you know she was just trying to be a friend.

Asked me to comfort him when he realized he had been in live with another woman years ago and never took the opportunity to at least keep her in his life.....he was with me when this opportunity arose.

honesttoafault posted 2/12/2014 22:09 PM

Wish there was one thing.

Married OW overseas and had 3 OC's with her.
She stayed at our house overseas slept in my bed, used all my perfume, used all my things.
Asked me for my salary to pay his employees which included OW
Asked me to buy some suits for his sister, but they were for the OW
Asked me to help him buy clothes for his nieces,but they were for the OC's.
Took a home equity loan out on our house to buy OW and OC's an apartment.
Gave me a bunch of scarves that belonged to OW

Now, he is blaming me that our kids don't respect him and that I damaged the kids so he wants to be separated. Telling me I'm a neglectful mother.

Whew, that's only the beginning!

What's the worst? I think the gaslighting, blameshifting and false hope I was given and I fell for it all.

The worst? I didn't kick him to the curb IMMEDIATELY.

TheGarden posted 2/12/2014 23:07 PM

It wasn't mean or vindictive, but it was incredibly selfish and thoughtless.

WH started his EA with my close friend during the final year of my dissertation - I have been working on a Ph.D. for years, and it is the biggest achievement of my life. It apparently never even occurred to him even once during this time that marital infidelity might not be helpful in terms of me finishing my Ph.D.

DDay was 2 weeks before (what was supposed to be) my final oral defense date. He got drunk and stayed out all night and got physical with her, and then came home and confessed. Needless to say, the situation totally fucked up my life to the point where I had to cancel my defense. The whole dissertation process was utterly disrupted.

7 months later I am still not finished. Two of those 7 months I spent basically lying in bed in the dark, crying, in a massive depression.

But I am still working on it. Right now I plan to defend in March. But it has been scary. There have been many times over the last 7 months during which I thought I would not make it, that his infidelity was not only going to ruin our marriage, my trust in other people, etc., but also my entire career.

And this is the part of his affair I am not sure I can ever forgive him for. Everybody who has an affair is selfish and thoughtless about something. But he was basically willing to throw away not only our marriage but my life's work, my future career prospects, my livelihood, so he could get some ego kibble and a grope on a couch. He never even thought about me or my Ph.D. while he was was with her. It's so unbelievably evil and bad that I *still* can't quite come to terms with it all these months later. It's something I personally would not have been able to do to my worst enemy, much less the person in the world who loved me the most.

And let's not even get started on my "friend", who did the same thing...

Sigh. Tonight has been a hard night. I feel pretty unloved and not valued by anybody right now. How could any person do such a thing to a friend or a loved one? I can't understand it. And yet, they both did it to me.

[This message edited by TheGarden at 11:08 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]

HurtsButImOK posted 2/12/2014 23:36 PM

Maybe not the meanest thing, two examples that strike me funny now though

1. Had me wax his back hair so he could look pretty for reunion fuckfest with recycled OW of 2007 fame

2. Had me pay for foreign currency for entertaining above mentioned OW. I can no longer say I have never paid for sex anymore, even though I didn't get to receive the services

BAB61 posted 2/12/2014 23:54 PM

He has refused to acknowledge that having affairs and cheating on me has negatively impacted our girls. He refuses to accept responsibility for the fact that they now despise him and want nothing to do with him. He thinks I'm turning them against him. smh

Violated posted 2/13/2014 00:17 AM

He used our oldest teen son as a confident for 2 yrs until I was told about the A. Then continued to bad mouth me for 3 yrs of R, until DS had a breakdown.

About 9 months later I was finally ready to give up and talk divorce, he started an argument, faked a fall and called the police. I had to spend 2 nights in jail for domestic violence, I've never even gotten a traffic ticket before. Now I'm in diversion for a year.

The best part.... my son's are better, and I'm divorced! :)

Ostrich80 posted 2/13/2014 00:33 AM

Hmmm where do.I start?
Besides lying to me and telling me I was crazy for two years when I knew he was cheating, a few other things register worse because they involved my kids.

When my DD told me of a dream she had when I was out of town, about walking in our bedroom in the middle.of the night and there being a lady in my bed with dad, he freaked out on her and screamed IT WAS A FUCKING DREAM, WHY ARE YOU BRINGING IT UP. After talking to my DD who was around ten at the time, pretty sure it was real.

Again freaked out on my DD calling her a big mouth for telling me ow baked her dad a birthday cake.

When DD was in hospital to rule out lymphoma, he excused himself to go to the restroom and tell ow, within 2 minutes of
the Dr mentioning cancer.

Not to mention the numerous times he told my kids, I don't know what your mom is up to, anytime I was five minutes late from going to grocery store or running errands.

He also told me I disgusted and repulsed him and he hadn't loved me in a looong time.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 12:34 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]

deadroses posted 2/13/2014 01:04 AM

WH has his affair while my best friend was dying....listened to me cry my eyes out whilst banging a friend of ours and then confessed five days after she died...what a guy.

Dreamland posted 2/13/2014 01:30 AM

Decideong that that ignoring me and DD all day while she was at the cardiologist getting testing for her heart problems. Then later leaves a criptic message saying he's going to a lecture that night got free tickets(whore got them) then proceeds to call me telling me he say our good friend and is going for a bite afterwards.
He was with the whore they met for lunch, coffee then ran off to meet at the lecture and they went out for a romantic dinner..
Then that weekend met whore why our DD was with him left her shopping then picked her up later.

Fuck him!

Dreamland posted 2/13/2014 01:36 AM

Deciding that that ignoring me and DD all day while she was at the cardiologist getting testing for her heart problems. Then later leaves a criptic message saying he's going to a lecture that night got free tickets(whore got them) then proceeds to call me telling me he say our good friend and is going for a bite afterwards.
He was with the whore they met for lunch, coffee then ran off to meet at the lecture and they went out for a romantic dinner..
Then that weekend met whore why our DD was with him left her shopping then picked her up later.

Fuck him!
Oh and he didn't do anything when that bitch filed charges against me stating I had choked her when she kept after my husband. I didn't touch that whore but yelled at her and all her previous fucking professors and her car fucking at work and at park and ride.
He is a coward. The bitches mother said she couldn't understand why my husband didn't stop me.. I said I don't understand how he fucked her ugly ass and why he's not beating the shit out of her.
Thank god I had good lawyers and I didn't lose my professional license or job...
So sorry sending Hugs!!!

mystified1970 posted 2/13/2014 06:02 AM's the worst and I believe it is mean, abusive, consciously done, selfish, hateful and narcissistic.

Chefj9 posted 2/13/2014 06:42 AM

Getting angry st me for anything and everything. Calling me a "C" on Mother's Day
Taking pictures of my medications and sending them to OW "to prove" I was sickly and that we weren't having sex (total lie)
Asking another woman to marry him
Making me feel crazy and that everything wrong in the marriage was my fault for years
Watching me cry and sob on the floor for days and still contacting her while this was happening.
bad mouthing me constantly and telling lies about what a horrible wife I was, all the while watching me turn myself inside out to be what he said he needed.

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