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Anger and Hurt

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Ivyivy posted 2/12/2014 21:50 PM

7 months post dday - all I feel, all day and every day, is anger and hurt. I can't seem to grasp any other emotions. Please tell me that one day it will get better...

still-living posted 2/12/2014 22:15 PM

There was a period in my recovery, about the same time as this, were I obsessively bulldozed pain and made little progress. My returns kept diminishing as I applied more.... of the same thing. What help me through this was reserving times during the day where I would allow myself to think about it, i.e., process the pain. I would jot down thoughts and revisit them later, knowing that I would. In fact, I looked forward to it. This allowed me to live my life and more efficiently process the pain. Also, I tried different things: books, exercise, talk and comedy radio, tv talk shows, different sites, different recovery help, you name it as a method to add variety for processing pain and avoiding it, to maintain balance and efficiency.

norabird posted 2/12/2014 22:35 PM

It's so interesting to me that we can see hope for others when we can't see it for ourselves; I just saw your kind response to a post of mine, and yet I know that seeing future improvement ahead for me doesn't mean being able to see it for yourself. So, let me use my own little crystal ball ..... YES, it will get better. And while you feel stuck right now, mired in an obsessive loop, do you have an IC to try and figure out how to reach a new understanding or phase? Can you ask your WH for help and does he listen? Can you do more kind or stress-releasing things for yourself?

Hang in there Ivy. You are handling a big trauma as best as you can. Part of that process may be this stuck feeling right now. But it is not permanent. (((Hugs)))

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