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What a difference a year makes

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HurtsButImOK posted 2/13/2014 01:07 AM

This time last year I was a broken, bewildered, sobbing mess. I booked myself on a holiday to Bali for 2 reasons:
1. Its close
2. Every time I have travelled overseas I was cheated on so I wanted to force myself to face a phobia.

My trip was 5 nights. I spent most of those nights talking to him. Used up my Skype credit, trying so desperately to understand WTF just happened, why it was really over this time, who the F was she, what was he doing in 2007 when he was first F'ing her, how any of his behavior was ever ok, who the hell am I without him, why the F didn't I kick his sorry ass to the curb years ago, how the F did it become 'normal' to say 'promise you won't cheat on me this time when you travel', but mostly how do I live without the person I thought I would share my life with.

One year later and I am back in Bali. So many experiences to have - learning to scuba dive for Valentines Day. I find myself thinking WTF did I ever see in him. How did I think I deserved so little in life. Thinking back on the heart broken messages makes me and


My life is so much more peaceful now, I am in charge of my own destiny and happiness. I look back on what was and now find myself wondering how I ever put up with it.

I like this light at the end of the tunnel, its very illuminating .

There is still healing to do but that's ok, I've got this.

Strength, love and peace to you all.

SBB posted 2/13/2014 04:59 AM

There is still healing to do but that's ok, I've got this.

I'm doing a happy dance right now HBIM.

I didn't believe it when they said it to me and I'm sure you didn't either but NC and detachment really works.

Once your BS fog clears and you see exactly what we were fighting for its kind of surreal. That guy? THAT guy? Really?

FaithFool posted 2/13/2014 08:33 AM

Yes.

nowiknow23 posted 2/13/2014 10:00 AM

Wonderful update, hurts! I'm more than a little envious of you being in Bali. Enjoy yourself!

sheila0304 posted 2/13/2014 10:17 AM

I love it when a BS realizes they deserve better and wondering why they put up with the nonsense. If only we could bottle it....

better4me posted 2/13/2014 12:58 PM

I love it when a BS realizes they deserve better and wondering why they put up with the nonsense. If only we could bottle it....
but we wouldn't make any money from it, we'd give it away for FREE!

So happy to read your update, Hurts! So glad you can recognize the miles you've come in your journey.

HurtsButImOK posted 2/13/2014 16:20 PM

Thanks y'all. The support that is given on this site is invaluable to recovering.

Just finished the theory component of the scuba course . As a smoker, who likely has a cavity and is prone to shallow breathing thanks to anxiety, I am so gonna die .

Did I mention that I have a phobia of the ocean......

Oh well.

Violated posted 2/14/2014 04:44 AM

I'm sure a few thousand of us would love to be with you and hold your hand !

I hope you have a fantastic time

cantaccept posted 2/14/2014 04:55 AM

So happy for you!

Your post brings hope for healing.

I find myself wishing for time to pass quickly, wishing for it to be next year.

Waiting for that light.

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