[This message edited by lordhasaplan? at 8:13 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]
I guess I need to concede that this is my new life...
Yes, but it can be a marvelous one. I wrote my wife last night. I was able to speak directly to us. No unicorns and rainbows fairy tale BS. We have chosen a path together, one that requires each of us to be authentic to who we are as individuals and partners. There are no cards that can speak to that place where we are. My guess is, your the same. Its not a bad thing, in fact I prefer it to the unicorns and rainbows.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
Hallmark has a section for troubled relationships.
I didn't know that. I will have to try to stop there after work...
I thought I was going to lose it yesterday in Target. It felt like a panic attack was going to happen or just plain sadness...
The card I wasn't from hallmark but says:
Real love is not in the falling
It's in the staying
The ups and downs
The smiles and frowns
Inside it said real love is found in each and every moment I spend with you. I modified it to say " I want real love found in every moment..." I also wrote some additional feeling, trying to be hopeful but clearly expressing some hurt.
[This message edited by alifeforesaken at 9:04 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]
I almost had to give up and make one (and by make one I mean my older daughter would have put some heart stickers on a piece of paper).
This is the first year I am buying a VD card for him, and I bought it in the kid's section. Only cards that did not have all the sentiments associated with real adult relationships. Slightly funny, and appropriate for his level of emotional development. Let him be the one to spend an hour in the card aisle trying to express his hopes for our relationship.
To the one person I consider to be my soulmate
I am so glad that you are a part of my life.
It is a privilege---to know you, to share myself with you, and to walk together on the paths that take us in so many beautiful directions...
I had heard of "soul mates" before, but I never knew such a person could exist---until I met you.
Somehow, out of all the twists and turns our lives could have taken, and out of all the chances we might have missed, it almost seems like we were given a meant -to-be moment---to meet, to get to know one another, and to set the stage for a special togetherness.
When I am with you, I know that I am in the presence of someone who makes my life more complete than I ever dreamed it could be.
I turn to you for trust, and you give it openly.
I look to you for inspiration, for answers, and for encouragement, and --not only do you never let me down--you lift my spirits up and take my thoughts to places where my troubles seem much farther away and my joys feel like they're going to stay in my life forever.
I hope you'll stay forever, too. I feel like you're my soul mate. And I want you to know that my world is reassured by you, my tomorrows need to have you near, so many of my smiles depend on you, and my heart is so thankful that you're here.
Dearest mchercheur, You are loved by me more than you'll ever know.
OK, I know he took about an hour to find that card , because I know how long he was gone.
Before Dday, he would never have given me a card like that.
But, when I read it, all I could think was "How can you cheat on your soulmate?"
Maybe he has only come to the realization (that I am his soulmate) now.
Before Dday, I was only his wife for 23 years & the mother of his 4 children, & the other income-earner in the house, & the servant girl for him & his family, & the housekeeper, chauffeur, & cook, & the caretaker of our kids.
I think I will just stick to "Happy Valentine's Day to my husband" again this year.
[This message edited by mchercheur at 12:13 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]
I've come to the conclusion that nothing in my life is adequately reflected in a Hallmark card...
The blank card with a handwritten note or letter idea can be helpful...although I remember sitting with a blank sheet of paper and trying to think of things to write. Struggling mightily, as it seemed each "nice" thing I thought to write was immediately followed in my mind by some snarky (but true) retort or codicil. It was very hard.
You could just skip the card and give a small gift with a gift tag.
perhaps in time i will be able to card shop again. But for now, this is where i am, and i dont feel bad about it. Day by day.
hugs to all of you!
1. R is going extremely well, especially the last six months; he's been great, and my love is flooding back, so I bought a nice (but not mushy) "I love you" kind of card on a day when I was feeling particularly loved and loving.
2. On a day when I felt kind of funny and playful, I bought a silly, jokey card. But there's a veiled sexual innuendo that might make him sad, since he's been experiencing ED. I should probably not give him this one.
3. On one of those yeah-he's-great-now-but-how-the-hell-could-he-have-done-this-to-me days, I bought a card that says we can't change the past, we don't know the future, but let's love each other today and celebrate. It would have been perfect last year, but this year it seems a little somber.
Maybe I'll go with #1. I think I'll write him a letter, too. And yes, I know the three cards thing is obsessive and silly.
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA